


The Bell Rings

by FruitsOfPassion



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Never Met, Angel!Makoto, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, Pining Haru, Slow Build, angel au, makoharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruitsOfPassion/pseuds/FruitsOfPassion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order for an angel to get their wings they must complete one good deed, make the life of a human better through their kindness and Makoto was no exception. Makoto was only thirteen when his time came to earn his wings, too young to fully understand his task. But when he was assigned his human he dutifully looked after him however falling in love with said human was not definitely not in the job brief. And with a time limit on his job Makoto needs to act fast before he is called back to the heavens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Zaabeth for being my beta, don’t know how I’d survive without you!

Makoto ran, his legs pumping faster than he’d ever pushed them before, the sound of his feet pounding on the pavement louder than his pants filling the air. His heartbeat rang in his ears as his lungs burnt from excursion. But he’d never stop. He couldn’t stop.

“Come on slowpoke!” Sousuke teased, sticking his tongue out over his shoulder.

Makoto frowned in determination and pushed his arms, hoping it would give him that little extra push to catch up to his friend.

His best friend, Sousuke.

He and Sousuke had been best friends for as long as he could remember. Their mothers had met at an antenatal class and become firm friends, the boys only naturally following. Sousuke was older. He was also braver, stronger, and bigger, but Makoto didn’t care. He loved his friend all the same.

And Sousuke loved him too, even if Makoto wasn’t as fast, or as courageous, or as confident. They had always been best friends and they would be forever. They balanced each other out, they supported each other, they were a perfect team.

Sousuke protected Makoto from anything he found scary and in turn Makoto stopped Sousuke from acting before thinking.

“Keep up Mako-chan!” Sousuke grinned, turning so he was running backwards but still ahead of the other boy.

Makoto pouted and reached his arms out in an attempt to grab his friend and propel himself forward but he was quickly running out of puff. However, they were both too excited to stop.

Today was the first time they’d been allowed to go all the way to the park and back on their own. Usually their mothers would come with them, stopping off at a café along the way and letting the boys carry on. But after Makoto’s thirteenth birthday they were old enough to go alone, both teenagers now and too mature to always need their mothers.

It had been a very hesitant allowance though, neither woman wanting to let their baby go, especially with the amount of busy roads the boys would have to cross. But Makoto and Sousuke were both responsible enough to handle it themselves.

“It’s not fair Sou-chan!” Makoto whined. “You have longer legs than me.”

Although it wasn’t by much, Sousuke always remained that little bit taller. For every growth spurt Makoto seemed to have Sousuke always managed to trump him.

“Excuses, excuses.” Sousuke laughed, turning back around and with an unknown burst of energy ran forward.

Makoto groaned. How was the other boy not getting tired? Makoto himself was quickly running out of steam. His body was practically begging to rest on one of the nearby benches. But he couldn’t stop, knowing Sousuke would tease him mercilessly when they got to the park if he did.

They reached the first of the roads, Sousuke slowing slightly to scan the road before bolting across, stopping on the other side to give Makoto a cocky grin.

With a frown Makoto ran, not bothering to slow down as he reached the edge of the pavement, not bothering to check he was clear of cars. He just ran blindly into the road.

“Makoto!” Sousuke screamed. “Stop!”

But it was too late, he was already half way across the road before he realised his mistake. He glanced to his right and froze, a car speeding towards him as his eyes widened in fear.

He heard the sound of a horn, he heard the crunch of metal against his body, he heard the crush of his bones as he landed a few feet behind the car, he heard Sousuke’s cries as he rushed to his best friend’s side. But he felt nothing.

It was as if his body was numb, he didn’t feel a thing. He didn’t feel pain as he’d rolled over the car, he didn’t feel the blood spilling from his side, he didn’t feel Sousuke’s hot tears as they splashed against his cheeks, he didn’t feel the air fill his lungs as he took his last breath.

…

Makoto opened his eyes and winced at the bright light that surrounded him, the hot sun beating down on his back. His cheek pressed against a cold, hard floor, contrasting the warmth shining on him. He rolled over expecting to feel pain but once again he felt nothing. He pushed himself into a seated position, ready to see the blood and the gore but there was none. He looked just like he had when he’d left the house this morning, his clothes clean and his skin unscarred.

He glanced around the room, hoping to find someone to help him, explain this situation but he seemed to be alone.

He began walking, hands shaking and begging to reach out to grab Sousuke’s shirt, a habit he’d picked up at a young age and never had been able to break out of. His footsteps echoed as he journeyed, constantly reminding him how alone he was.

He tried to pretend Sousuke was with him, pretending the other boy was there, that he was next to him, excited to explore this seemingly empty expanse of a building, if it could even be called that.

There were no walls or ceilings, just columns by his sides almost guiding him, stopping him from ever straying off the path. Clouds hung low, looking almost close enough to touch, while the sun shone brightly. It was pleasantly warm, never too hot, never too cold, just the right temperature.

His heart stuttered as he reached a temple, looking eerily similar to the ones he’d looked at in History and Ancient Mythology at school. Only this one wasn’t old, wasn’t crumbling. The pillars looked clean and bright, as if they had just been built, the roof still strong and sturdy.

He tilted his head in confusion as he tried to read the symbols carved into the stone, but he knew it was hopeless. They weren’t anything he had come across in Japanese lessons. With nowhere else to go he tentatively climbed the steps and slipped inside the temple.

In the distance he saw a man sitting on a grand chair, his pink hair contrasting the otherwise solely white surroundings. He was laughing loudly as he drank from a gold cup, but as far as Makoto could see there was nothing in the room to see. Only the man, his chair, and a table.

And Makoto too of course.

Slowly, he stepped out of the shadows and made his way over to the man.

“Ah, Tachibana Makoto, I’ve been waiting for you.” The man boomed, standing up and walking over towards the boy. His hair and clothes billowed in a wind that appeared to only be surrounding him. The air around Makoto remained steadily tranquil.

The man wore silk robes, held together on one shoulder. His wrists were covered with gold bracelets that made no noise as they shook by his side. His legs seemed to barely move as the man practically glided across the marble floor.

“How do you know me?” Makoto whispered as the man reached his side.

“I know everything my dear child.” He grinned, wrapping his arm around the boy’s shoulder and leading him down the room.

“Who are you?” Makoto asked, looking up into violet eyes.

“Kisumi.” He replied, guiding Makoto into his chair.

The boy shifted awkwardly in the thrown. The stone was more comfortable than he imagined, but Makoto still found himself not wanting to be here. He wanted to be back with Sousuke, racing to the park to play football.

“I saw that nasty crash you had, it must have hurt.” Kisumi gushed, gently stroking Makoto’s soft brown locks. “Can I get you a drink?”

Without waiting for a response the man conjured up a bottle of water in the flick of a wrist, holding it out for the other boy.

Suddenly it all clicked into place. The pure white surroundings, his immaculate recovery, the lack of anyone else around, this extravagant man with his magical powers. Makoto had died.

“Are you God?” Makoto blurted out, accepting the bottle.

“A God of sorts.” Kisumi nodded, walking over to the table.

He looked down at the table, his shoulders gently rising and falling with his breaths as his clothes bellowed in the wind.

“Come here Makoto.” He gestured with his hand, never turning to look at the other boy.

Hurriedly, the boy scurried over to the man, eager to see what he was looking at so intently. Makoto gasped as he glanced at the table. The wooden top was covered with a map of the world, only the seas flowed and the lands thrived. Makoto didn’t understand how this was possible but he supposed he was in the presence of a God after all.

But it wasn’t just the map that amazed Makoto, it was the small people on the map, some fading in, others fading out, and some remaining clear the entire time. The map never stilled constantly moving, constantly growing.

“Beautiful, no?” Kisumi asked, Makoto only nodding dumbly in response. “This is the world, and every person you see on it needs my help.” He gestured to the map and Makoto nodded again. “I am the God of Future.”

“Future?” Makoto asked dubiously, he remembered doing a project on God’s a few years ago and not once had their ever been a god of future. Fate maybe but never future.

“Yeah,” he reassured Makoto. “I always get skipped over in myths and legends but believe me I’m important.”

“Okay.” Makoto agreed, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

“Now, every person has a path, a destiny. A future if you will.” Kisumi said, shooting a smirk in Makoto’s direction. “But sometimes humans can be stubborn, thinking they know what’s best and ruining their futures. When that happens you appear on my board and it’s up to me to make sure you all get to where you need to. Sometimes all it takes is a little push and I can set you right, others take a little more work. That’s where you come in.”

“Where am I?” Makoto asked, barely processing Kisumi’s words as he stared at the world in wonder.

“There.” He told him, pointing to an abandoned figure on the floor.

Makoto gasped as he saw himself and made to dash over, only to be grabbed and stopped by Kisumi.

“Not so fast, I need to explain a few things to you first.” Kisumi said, pulling back the wriggling boy.

“Fine.” He sighed, he supposed it didn’t make much of a difference whether he found himself now or later.

“Technically, Makoto, you’re dead. But before your body can fully rest your soul needs to earn its wings.” He explained, bending down to look the boy in the eye.

“My wings?” Makoto croaked.

He didn’t want wings, he wanted to go back to where he belonged. He wanted his mum to give him a kiss to show how much he was loved. He wanted his dad to give one of his special cuddles where he was held so tight he knew he was safe. He wanted to tell the twins a bedtime story and watch as their eyes sparkled in wonderment. He wanted to sleepover at Sousuke’s and giggle and whisper all night long, only to fake sleep when his mother walked into the bedroom. He didn’t want to be dead.

“Mako, don’t cry.” Kisumi pleaded, but it was too late. Fat tears rolled down the boy’s face.

Makoto gripped the man in front of him, his body shuddering as he cried into his neck. He would never get to see anyone he loved ever again, all because he was stupid and he was reckless.

“It’s not all bad.” Kisumi comforted. “I pair you up with a human who needs your help, you do you good deed and bam, wings and eternal happiness. Doesn’t that sound good?”

“No.” Makoto whined, burying his head deeper into his neck.

“Oh dear, poor Haruka.” Kisumi sighed.

Makoto sniffed. “Who’s Haruka?” He asked, pulling back slightly.

“Your human.” Kisumi smiled softly.

“I have a human?” Makoto stuttered, rubbing his eyes.

“Weren’t you listening to anything I was saying, silly?” The man teased.

“I was a little bit.” He admitted.

“Right, I’ll explain it all again but you have to promise not to cry.” Kisumi said sternly.

“Okay.” Makoto agreed. He had to be brave now there was no Sousuke to look after him. He was on his own.

With a smile Kisumi conjured up a bar of chocolate. Makoto licked his lips in excitement as he was handed the treat.

“Now, each time a person’s soul leaves their body they get assigned to a God who needs them and right now I need your help Makoto.” Kisumi exclaimed dramatically, managing to coax a smile out of the distressed boy.

Kisumi stood tall again and turned back to his table, gesturing for Makoto to look with him. The boy leant over the world, eagerly waiting to see who his human was. Haruka was a beautiful name, he hoped they were as lovely as their name.

“This is Haruka.” Kisumi told him, gesturing towards one of the people that didn’t fade in or out. “He has a bright future ahead of him but he’s closed in on himself, he won’t let anyone in. I need you to be his friend Makoto, show him the power of friendship so he can make more relationships and become who he is destined to be.”

Kisumi walked away and picked the Makoto figure off the floor. His insides involuntarily swirled as the doll was carelessly tossed from side to side in Kisumi’s grip.

“You think you can do all that for me Makoto?” He asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded, finishing off his chocolate. “I just need to be his friend?”

“That’s the idea, yes.” Kisumi replied. “You need to show him how to open up to other people and develop relationships.”

“I can do that.”

“That’s what I was hoping for. Good luck then, Tachibana.” Kisumi smirked, placing Makoto’s doll next to Haruka’s.

…

Haruka sighed deeply to himself, extremely bored and getting more fed up by the minute. One of his neighbours was hosting a party and Haruka had been dragged along by his parents. His mother had insisted it would be a great chance for him to meet people his age before they left and moved to Tokyo.

But Haruka had no intention of making any friends here today and once his parents had moved out he would have less pressure on him to do so.

While all the adults were distracted Haruka slipped away, sneaking into the garden to get some air and to get away from everyone.

He didn’t understand the great need for friends. All he had ever needed was his Grandmother growing up – she had played with him, she had loved him, she had kept him company. And even though she was gone he didn’t feel the need to replace her with some other meaningless relationships.

Haruka jumped when seemingly out of nowhere, a boy fell in front of him, face down in the grass. However, the boy quickly jumped up and acted as if the fall hadn’t even hurt him.

Haruka frowned slightly as the boy looked around. He didn’t recognise him from earlier, back when he’d be forced to greet everyone here, but the boy appeared to his age. He wondered why his mother hadn’t tried pushing them together yet.

“Haruka?” The boy asked.

“Yes?” He replied uncertainly. He knew he should be cautious about the fact that this stranger apparently knew who he was, but those gentle green eyes made him feel at ease.

“Hello Haruka!” The boy greeted, rushing to his side. “My name is Makoto.”

“Haru.” He said in return.

“Huh?” Makoto wrinkled his nose in confusion and Haruka hated the simple word that flittered through his mind at the expression. _Cute._

“Call me Haru.” Haruka explained, accepting this new presence into his life with little fighting. It somehow it felt right. Like they were destined to be together. “How do you know me?”

“I’m your angel and I’m going to be here to make sure my Haru-chan is happy!” Makoto gushed, wrapping his arm around his human, protecting him.

“Tch, drop the chan.” Haruka grunted but didn’t made any attempt to break out of his hold. He felt like he belonged in those surprisingly strong arms.

The boys spent the rest of the party together, Makoto eagerly telling him all about his family before he’d become an angel. His best friend Sousuke – who Haruka took an instant dislike to – who Makoto was sure would make loads of friends without him because he was one of the nicest guys he knew. Haruka offered small comments in return but he mostly listening, letting Makoto’s voice float around him, hug him, and hold him.

“Haruka!” A voice scolded, the boy in question turning around to see his mother. “Have you been out here on your own this whole time?”

“No, I’ve been with Makoto.” Haruka frowned, could she not see the brunette sat next to him.

“Well where is he now?” She asked, glancing around.

Haruka shot a confused look towards Makoto who looked down sadly at his lap, twiddling his fingers.

“I’m only your angel.” He told him, knowing he would never be seen again by anyone but Haruka.

“He had to go home.” Haruka explained, wanting to comfort the other boy but knowing he couldn’t with his mother there.

“That’s a shame, I would have like to have met him. Anyways, it’s time for us to leave as well Haru.” She smiled gesturing with her head for her son to follow.

Dutifully he stood up and walked towards the doors, glancing over his shoulder to see Makoto still sat on the steps, hunched over and looking at his shoes. Unsure whether he should follow or if Haruka would come back for him when he needed him.

“Come on Makoto.” Haruka said, holding his hand out for the boy.

With a small smile Makoto jumped up and rushed over to the other, tightly gripping his hand and following him home. He may not be able to return to his family anymore but he definitely found a new place he belonged.

…

For the next three years Haruka was looked after by his angel, never once feeling lonely despite living without his parents. Makoto filled every silence, kept him company, made him smile, made him feel loved and in turn Haruka let the boy in, let him get closer than anyone had ever got before.

But as he got older, he knew one day Makoto would have to go. Makoto had explained to him that he was doing a good deed to earn his wings. And whether he liked it or not when he earned them he’d be forced to leave.

Although Haruka was Makoto’s human and he belonged to him, Makoto would always belong to Kisumi. When he deemed it the right time Makoto would be gone and Haruka would never see him again and that scared him more than anything.

Makoto was here to make Haruka happy but at the same time he made him feel terrified, made him feel sad, made him feel devastated because one day they would no longer be Haruka and Makoto.

He would just simply be Haruka, alone once again.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth for always being so helpful :)

Haruka lay in the bath, listening to the muffled sounds of Makoto running around in the rest of the house. He knew exactly what he'd be doing, it was the same thing every day. He'd be packing his lunch and placing it by his school bag. He'd be laying out a clean uniform on his bed. He'd be preparing breakfast so Haruka wouldn't be late. No matter how much the other boy protested, he always mothered him. He insisted it was his job as his angel.

They both knew it to be a lie however, they knew the real reason he was here was to get Haruka out of his shell and functioning in the real world – he may not have said it in those exact words but the implications had been clear.

And in a way Makoto had already succeeded, he'd opened Haruka up, shown him how important friendship could be. But outside of Makoto he had nobody else. Makoto was supposed to be there to help him reach out to others, but unfortunately it seemed like the opposite was happening. Throughout his whole life Haruka was always that strange, cold boy who glared at everyone and refused to speak in lessons. It only worsened when it looked like he was talking to himself, seeing things that weren't really there. Children tended to avoid anyone they thought were strange and it just continued into his adolescence.

But at the end of the day it had never really bothered him. He had Makoto and that was all he really needed. If he refused to make other friends maybe he could trick the system, stop the boy from ever earning his wings and keep him forever.

He winced slightly at the thought, always feeling guilty when he wished for such things. Makoto had a purpose, a goal, and he surely didn't want to be stuck looking after an anti-social teenager his entire life. And what would happen if he never reached his goal by the time Haruka died? Would he just be destined to roam the earth for eternity?

Haruka could never do that to Makoto. He could never hold the angel back.

"Haru-chan?" A voice called from the other side of the door.

He tsked at the nickname but knew there was no point, he could never seem to make the other boy drop the habit. He didn't bother inviting Makoto in. He knew the calling of his name was just a courtesy and whatever response he gave – or lack of – the boy was going to come in anyway.

"Good morning." Makoto smiled as he walked in.

It was redundant really as they had already seen each other the moment they woke up, despite the fact there were plenty of spare rooms Makoto still curled down by Haruka's side every night. But he knew there was no point greeting Haruka before he had his morning soak otherwise he'd only receive a grunt in response, which is how they ended up with this daily charade.

"Morning." He replied, although it wasn't much it was better than a grunt.

Haruka looked up at his angel and couldn't help but marvel at how much he had changed in the past three years. Naively he'd believed he wouldn't grow, thought he'd always remain a small child, cherub like with eyes wide with innocence. But he aged alongside Haruka, shooting up and filling out as he went.

Haruka coveted Makoto's body - it was so strong, so beautiful. His muscles twitched and clenched with every movement, making him look powerful. He often found it hard to believe Makoto was a mere angel, he looked more like a god with his stunning beauty. His eyes sparkled as if they were made of jewels, his smile shone brighter than the sun, his voice soft and inviting like a sea breeze. The boy was absolutely perfect.

Maybe coveted wasn't the right word, lusted after may have been more appropriate. But it was hardly his fault, Makoto was very liberal with his bodily contact and as they grew so did Haruka's reaction to his touch. Now every stroke sent shivers down his spine, every gentle brush gave him sparks, every soft caress had his heart palpitating.

Although they were only friends the constant potential of more always floated around them, crackling in the air with every overly affectionate gesture, every whispered conversation, every loving embrace. But Haruka knew it was one sided. Makoto was an angel, he didn't have time for trivial things like love or romance. He was simply here to complete a deed and then move on. Forget about Haruka and all the unresolved feelings he'd leave behind.

"Time to get out." Makoto instructed, holding his hand out for Haruka to take.

"Alright." Haruka reluctantly agreed, slipping his hand out the water to grasp Makoto.

Slowly, the taller boy helped to manoeuvre him out the tub and into a standing position. They stood for a moment, still holding hands as Makoto smiled down at him – that proud smile he had when Haruka got out the water without any troubles.

As if he suddenly realised he was still grasping Haruka, Makoto jumped back and nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his now free hand. It was a reaction he often had when he lingered too long with Haruka.

It was almost as if Makoto had worked out how the other boy felt, but being the polite and somewhat awkward person he was, rather than outright reject him he was just avoiding contact. Hoping that Haruka would outgrow his crush and they could go back to what they were meant to be, just an angel and his human.

"I made breakfast." Makoto mumbled, looking down at his feet.

"Not burnt?" Haruka teased, he'd spent hours teaching Makoto how to cook without burning the house down – who knew one boy could cause such destruction... and worse, Haruka had got the blame from his parents.

"Nope, I tried extra hard." He poked his tongue out, leading Haruka towards the kitchen.

Haruka silently sat down to eat his breakfast, aware of Makoto's lingering gaze watching him. He didn't need to do human things like eat, drink or even sleep but sometimes he just did out of habit. Today was obviously not one of these mornings, Haruka thought to himself as he looked at the empty space on the other side of the table.

"Your uniform is on your bed." Makoto said softly.

"I'm not going." Haruka protested. He never learnt anything at school. He just ended up staring out the window with Makoto hovering over his shoulder. If he could he didn't doubt Makoto would make notes for him.

"Come on Haru, you didn't go in at all last week." He whined.

"Then another week won't hurt me." He shrugged, slipping another piece of mackerel into his mouth smugly – he'd trained Makoto well.

"Please Haru! This is for your own good." He begged, pouting with wide eyes.

He was foolish to think that the look would convince Haruka to leave the house, if anything it just made him more inclined to curl back up in bed and spend the day at home with the adorable boy.

"Nope." Haruka stated, after pretending to think for a moment.

"Nanase Haruka you are going to school today!" He told him, pointing his finger and fully turning on his mothering mode. "I was put here to look after you and so help me I will do, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming out the door all the way to school."

"But I'm not dressed." He weakly protested.

"If you think I am above taking you to school in pyjamas then you are sorely mistaken." He shot him a look.

"Fine." He sighed, realising he was fighting a losing battle. "I'll go in."

"Good." Makoto smiled, all anger gone in an instant from his face. "It will be good for you, you'll see."

At his words he leant forward and pressed a soft kiss into Haruka's crown, just to show how proud he was of his mature decision.

"Whatever." Haruka grumbled, looking away as his cheeks flushed.

It was always those small gestures that threw Haruka off, he could never quite work out what they truly meant. Sometimes he thought they meant everything he dreamed, but other times he just thought it was a friendly gesture, meant for nothing more than comfort.

Haruka was so used to being in control that his feelings for Makoto terrified him. It was something he'd never felt before, and he wasn't even sure he could fully put it into words. It could be nothing, just an attachment to his only source of companionship, but god was he willing to push past that boundary and give it a try.

But he couldn't do that to Makoto, couldn't force him out of his comfort zone for his own selfish desires. His angel would do anything to make him happy but he'd never take advantage of that. Not as long as he lived.

…

Haruka sighed as he sat down for lunch, it had been a completely dull morning and he didn't doubt it would be an even duller afternoon. The only highlight had been the sparks he'd felt when Makoto had gently wrapped his hand around his own to force him to make notes in his history lesson.

"Aren't you glad you came?" Makoto asked with a wide smile.

"Not really." He replied honestly.

"Haru." He whined, dropping his head forward onto his chest. "You have to at least make an effort."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because, one day I won't be here and I need to know you'll be alright on your own." He said in a small voice.

"Don't talk like that." Haruka practically hissed. He hated it when Makoto talked about the future, all he wanted to do was hold the boy tight and never let go. Never surrender the only thing that made his life worthwhile. He didn't want to be here anymore if Makoto wasn't with him.

"You know it's true." He whispered, glancing up at the other boy.

Instead of responding he stubbornly shook his head, he knew that day would come but for now he wanted to make the most of their time together.

"You have rice on your cheek." Makoto smiled, changing the subject quickly.

"Where?" Haruka asked, uselessly grabbing at his cheeks to find the offending food.

"Here." He laughed, reaching forward to pluck the rice from the corner of his lips before popping it into his mouth. "So ridiculous Haru-chan."

"Thanks." He blushed, trying not to dwell on the indirect kiss they'd shared. It wasn't exactly the first time Makoto's lips had almost touched his skin.

He just wanted a sign, a definitive yes or no. Yes I want to be more than friends or no I want to carry on pretending I don't notice your blatant attraction to me. Either response was acceptable, he just wanted to put an end to his suffering.

 _Please give me something_ _._  He begged, but the message was never received.

"I guess you deserve a treat." Makoto pondered, placing his hand on his chin.

"I do?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah, after being such a good boy for going to school." He teased, but Haruka didn't care, he wanted his treat.

"What have you got in mind?" He questioned coolly.

"Well, swim club doesn't meet on a Monday does it?" He smirked.

"No." He agreed, eagerly shaking his head.

"So I suppose we could go there instead and have a little swim. What do you say Haru-chan?"

"I suppose we could do." He said casually, but he knew it was pointless. Makoto would be able to feel the excitement seeping out his pours.

"I guess you have your swimming costume on underneath?" He teased, knowing the other boy often chose to forgo boxers in favour of tight jammers.

"Maybe." He grumbled, looking away.

At the moment a group of students walked past, giggling and whispering as Haruka appeared to be talking to himself. Not that it was unusual, at least once a day he'd get caught but his simple-minded peers always found it hysterical.

"I'm sorry." Makoto apologised, awkwardly folding in on himself.

He was here to help Haruka make friends but all he'd managed to do was isolate the poor boy further. If it weren't for him he'd probably be fine, have a handful of friends by now instead of being constantly pestered by a dead boy. He was the worst angel ever.

"I don't care." Haruka shrugged but Makoto was convinced it was a lie.

A month, he decided. He gave himself one month to finally help Haruka or he'd return to Kisumi and beg him to let another angel help the boy. If he failed he would be okay but he couldn't fail Haruka like that. Besides, how great could wings really be?

…

"Haru, we should probably leave now." Makoto protested, watching as said boy effortlessly lapped the pool at speeds he didn't even realise was humanly possible.

He'd tried countless times to get Haruka to join the swim club, it would have been a perfect way to meet people and he'd get to go in the pool whenever he'd like but he'd always declined. He'd always told Makoto it would be too much effort and beyond writing his name down himself there was little else he could do.

"But you haven't even come in yet." Haruka protested, propping himself up on the edge of the pool.

"I don't have a swimsuit." He declined.

"So?" He asked. It's not like you can get wet anyway, he added as a silent after thought.

Quickly, he reached out and grabbed Makoto's leg, yanking it until the boy tumbled forward and fell into the pool. But he didn't create a splash, not even a ripple, it was as if he didn't even exist.

Makoto stood tall again after having regained himself, completely dry despite the water up to his chest.

"I did not appreciate that." He commented with a small glare but Haruka couldn't reply.

What would Makoto look like wet? What would he look like sweating in the intense sun? What would he look like shivering in the winter's snow? What would he look like with the wind rippling through his hair? What would he look like if he were human again?

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's fine I guess." Makoto sighed dramatically. "One last lap then we're leaving."

"Okay." He agreed, slipping back into the water to swim.

After his lap he found Makoto was once again out of the water, hand held out to pull Haruka from the pool. He reached out for his hand and once again tightly grasped him as he exited the pool. It somehow felt easier to leave the sanctuary of the water if he knew Makoto was waiting for him.

"You better dry off properly or you'll get a cold." Makoto instructed as Haruka reached for his towel.

"Yes mother." He rolled his eyes.

"It's only because I care." He laughed, waiting for Haruka to dress so they could head home.

Unbeknownst to either boy for the past ten minutes a deep, red eyes had been watching. Silently marvelling at the grace and speed at which Haruka sailed through the water, forming a plan to get the boy on his team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get a second chapter out, I think it's been about a month. But I recently had a bit of a negative response to one of my other stories – it wasn't overly terrible but I'm the kind of person who focuses too hard on the bad – so I lost a little motivation.
> 
> But I thought that it wasn't really worth dwelling on so I wrote this and I think I feel better for it because I enjoy writing and that's why I do it not to get approval from others :)
> 
> Anyway, rant over. Sorry!


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth, my own personal angel :)

Rin bounced his leg up and down as he watched the clock in his last lesson before lunch, sharp teeth chewing on his lip as the seconds ticked away. He’d managed to miss both Nagisa and Rei this morning due to oversleeping but he was desperate to talk to them.

After a bit of research Rin discovered the mysterious swimmer from last night was a Nanase Haruka. He was in the same year as himself but in the other half so they weren’t in any lessons together. This explained why Rin hadn’t recognised him.It wasn’t exactly a huge school but some people managed to slip under the radar.

He’d been ecstatic last night when he’d seen him swimming, finally gaining that fourth member their team so sorely needed. Granted, he’d managed to convince his sister sign up as manager for their team but she didn’t help much when it came to actual competitions.

But this Haruka guy was fast, possibly even faster than Rin himself. He was bound to bag them a few wins and put their swim club on the map. And hopefully gain a few new members to boot.

It also meant that they could enter relay with four members like Nagisa was so desperate to do. As children he and Rin had been part of the same swimming club and had entered many relays as a team but now they lacked numbers. He just had to hope Haruka was able to swim backstroke as that was evidently the position they were missing after Rei finally mastered the art of butterfly.

Rin jumped when he heard the bell ringing, finally indicating the end of the lesson. With a smirk, he packed up his belongings and practically ran out the classroom, barely pausing to hear his teacher set the homework.

He rushed down the corridors and broke into a sprint when he finally reached the court yard, spotting a blonde and a blunette on the far side.

“Rin-rin!” Nagisa shouted, giving up trying to spoon feed Rei in favour of waving enthusiastically at Rin.

“Ah, hello Rin-san.” Rei greeted as he noticed Rin making his way towards them.

“I have news.” Rin announced breathlessly, dropping to his knees besides the pair.

“Really?” Rei asked.

“Did they finally bring Iwatobi bread back to the canteen? We need to get some!” Nagisa cried, shaking Rei in his excitement.

“It’s nothing to do with bread.” Rin shook his head.

“Oh.” Nagisa pouted, dropping his head to Rei’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Rei questioned, trying to ignore the blonde sulking besides him.

“I’ve found us a new swim club member.” He told the pair with a smug smile.

“Really? Someone agreed to join?” Rei asked in disbelief.

“Well, technically they didn’t actually agree.” He admitted.

“But you said we had a new member.” Nagisa pointed out, stealthily helping himself to Rei’s food.

“Who is this person?” Rei asked, deciding it just wasn’t worth the fight today with Nagisa.

“Nanase Haruka.” Rin replied to two blank faces. “My age, dark hair, about my height, keeps to himself a lot.”

“Not ringing any bells.” Nagisa shook his head, it was a very broad definition.

“Ugh!” Rin moaned, whipping his phone out his bag.

He went on the schools website and brought up the photo for his year group, trailing along the row he was on before successfully finding Haruka, glancing to the side with a serious expression. He zoomed in on the boy before turning around the phone for his friends.

“This guy.”

“Oh him!” Nagisa nodded. “I know him.”

“What did you say his name was again?” Rei asked.

“Haruka.” He answered.

“Right.” Rei chewed his lip, clearly choosing his next words very carefully. “I think it would be great for the team to have more members but, ah, isn’t Haruka-senpai a little strange?”

“Yes, he talks to himself!” Nagisa said with a giggle.

“So what if he does?” Rin shrugged, not mentioning that Haruka had been happily talking to himself last night when he’d seen him.

“Well, it‘s a rather odd habit wouldn’t you say?” Rei said.

“I suppose.” He agreed.

“Maybe he’s not talking to himself and there is actually someone there only he can see. What if it’s a demon?” Nagisa gasped.

“Nagisa.” Rin sighed. “Haruka does not have his own personal demon.”

“Well just to be sure we should pour salt around the pool so he cannot taint the water.” He instructed.

“Now you are just being ridiculous.” Rei shook his head.

“Look, it doesn’t matter how eccentric the guy is when he’s this great at swimming. It’s exactly what our team needs right now.” Rin said.

“You’re right Rin-rin.” Nagisa nodded. “We shouldn’t discriminate against someone just because they talk to people from the other side.”

“Sure.” He rolled his eyes, deciding it was better to agree rather than let Nagisa come up with anymore theories.

“Where is Haruka-senpai?” Rei asked, glancing around the courtyard. “So we can extend an invitation to him.”

“Not sure.” Rin shrugged. “He probably eats somewhere he can be alone.”

“With his ghosts.” Nagisa whispered with a giggle.

…

Haruka stared upwards, watching the clouds floating across the sky while Makoto chatted animatedly next to him. The clouds always interested him, all that water held in the sky, only dropping when it got too heavy. He often wondered what clouds felt like, were they soft like cotton or damp like moss.

When he was younger he’d asked Makoto what it felt like to touch the clouds, to look down at the earth surrounded by brilliant white. But he’d only received a laugh in response, before an admission that he’d never experienced it.

Haruka could picture Makoto on his cloud, a fully-fledged angel, protruding from his back strong, large wings. He’s still be watching Haruka, even if his good deed was over he’d still feel that attachment, that need to protect. But he wouldn’t be able to touch him, never be able to see him again.

Both boys glanced towards the door of the roof as it was thrown open and three boys stepped out into sunlight. Haruka tutted before continuing eating, clearly not bothered by the presence of the others.

“There he is!” The blonde shouted excitedly, pointing to their corner of the roof.

“Who are they?” Makoto asked as they rushed over to them.

“I don’t know.” Haruka shrugged.

“Well they seem to know you.” He replied with a smile, glad for potential friends for his Haru.

The threesome arrived at his feet and kneeled down before him, all looking at him with wide and questioning eyes.

“Say hello.” Makoto instructed.

“Hello.” He said with a roll of his eyes.

“Hi, Haruka?” Rin asked, receiving a quick nod as response. “I am Rin and this is Rei and Nagisa.

“Hi Haru-chan!”

“Hello Haruka-senpai.” They greeted at the same time.

“Okay.” Haruka said slowly, wondering how far he could run before they asked him if he had accepted Jesus as his saviour or forced him to join a cult.

“Don’t.” Makoto warned. “Don’t be rude.”

“What can I do for you?” Haruka asked with a sigh, trying to ignore Makoto’s proud, beaming smile.

“Well, I am the captain of the swim team and I came by last night to check I’d locked up.” Rin explained. “I noticed you in the pool.”

“Apologise for going in the pool.” Makoto hissed in panic.

“Sorry but you weren’t using it.” Haruka shrugged.

“That’s fine, we’re not bothered.” Rin shook his head. “I was impressed by how fast you were so…”

“We want you to join the team!” Nagisa interrupted, leaning forward to look at Haruka with wide sparkling eyes.

“No.” Haruka replied quickly.

“Haru!” Makoto gasped.

“What?” He mumbled, sick of pretending Makoto wasn’t there.

“You should at least think about it.” He told him.

“Why?”

“Because this is a big decision.” He said.

“No it’s not, I don’t want to join.” He whispered.

“This is a good opportunity for you, chance to make friends.” He smiled. “And there will be a pool.”

“Still don’t want to.” He quipped stubbornly.

The three swim team members shared confused looks as Haruka continued his bizarre one-sided argument under his breath.

“Ghosts.” Nagisa whispered in a sing song voice.

“Alright, fine!” Haruka growled. “I’ll think about it, okay? Happy?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Rin said as Makoto nodded. “Right, we’ll see you around Haruka. Come to us when you have an answer.”

Quickly the threesome scrambled to their feet and rushed from the roof, talking to each other in hushed tones. Haruka didn’t doubt it was about him but he didn’t really care, he was completely used to it by now. Least with them gone he could enjoy the rest of his lunch in piece.

…

“I used to swim you know?” Makoto said as the pair sat down to dinner.

“Really?” Haruka asked, torn between wanting to know more about Makoto’s past and wishing he would drop this whole swim team thing.

“Yeah. Back stroke.” He went on, Haruka hummed in interest. “Sousuke used to swim and he wanted me to as well but I was scared of the water so I was reluctant. But after weeks I finally went with him and it wasn’t so bad and with backstroke I could still see the sky. So even if I was surrounded by water there was still a way out, a safe place.”

“I only swim free.” He replied.

“I know you do.” He chuckled. “But I’m sure they’ll work around that on the team.”

“I am not joining.” Haruka shook his head sternly.

“At least think about it.” He whined.

“There’s no point, my answer will always be the same.” He shrugged.

“You should at least try. You never know you might like it.” He said optimistically.

“I don’t want to.” He told him.

“But you…”

“No!” He snapped, sick of Makoto trying to force him on other people. Why couldn’t he see that he was all he needed?

Makoto looked down at his dinner sheepishly, not speaking again as they ate their meal. The room only filled with the sound of cutlery on the plate and the occasional crunch of food. He barely had time to finish his dinner before Haruka had swiped his plate and taken it into the kitchen.

With a frown, Haruka began washing up, angrily moving the plates to the drying rack that even he was surprised nothing was getting broken.

The pair of them very rarely fought but if they did it was always over the same thing. The inevitable moment when Makoto left him.

“I’m sorry Haru.” Makoto said softly from the doorway.

“It’s fine.” He shrugged but the truth was it wasn’t.

He was tired of having the same argument day in and day out, he was tired of knowing he could wake up one morning and find Makoto gone, he was tired of fighting the unavoidable when he should just be making the most of their time together.

“Haru, you have to realise I won’t be around forever.” He said, slowly making his way across the room to be by his side. “I am only a temporary fix, you need to let others in.

“Yeah I know.” He nodded, draining the soapy water from the sink. “I know it’s only temporary, but I can’t help it that I only like Makoto.”

“It’s only because you don’t try.” He teased lightly.

“Too much effort.” He shrugged.

Makoto stood behind Haruka, waiting for him to turn around, waiting for him to relax, but he stood rigid, hands tightly gripping the edges of the sink. With a sigh, Makoto moved Haruka around until he was pressed into his chest, arms tightly wound around him. He reached up and stroked Haruka’s hair as the other boy hesitantly returned the embrace.

“I don’t want you to leave me as well.” Haruka murmured into his skin.

“I have to, I’m sorry.” He whispered back, never releasing Haruka even as tears pricked the back of his eyes.

Makoto didn’t want to leave Haruka either, he didn’t want him to have to live alone again. He wanted to always be by his side, always be his support. But he knew that just couldn’t be possible, as much as he wanted to stay there was always that pull. That reminder from above that he no longer belonged here, that he was living on borrowed time.

…

Haruka lay awake, watching Makoto sleeping a few centimetres away from him. After an emotionally draining day Makoto decided he would sleep tonight rather than lay awake.

They were so close but yet there was no mingling of breath, he could see Makoto breathing, the gentle rise and fall of his chest but he felt nothing. He slowly reached out and placed a hand over Makoto’s pec, he didn’t feel cold but he didn’t feel warm. Although Haruka was touching him he still felt nothing, as if his hand were merely resting in the air.

“Why can’t you be real?” Haruka whispered.

In his sleep Makoto moved, turning over so he was on his back, arm held out slightly in welcoming. With an embarrassed blush Haruka moved closer and rested his head on the others chest – in the morning he’d blame it on sleep induced movement but he was sure there was only so many times Makoto would believe that excuse.

As he lay there he heard nothing and Haruka hated it. No rush of blood, no gurgle of digestion, no snore of sleep, no beat of a heart. Absolute silence.

When he’d been younger the lack of a heartbeat used to excite him, he found it interesting but now it was just a constant reminder of the horrible truth. He shared his bed with a dead angel.

God, how he wished it weren’t true, he’d give anything to have Makoto with him for all of time. He’d give his own life if it meant that he could keep Makoto. But that would never be an option, Makoto would return to the clouds and he would be alone again.

His swallows felt heavy as he tried to rid himself of the lump that was developing in his throat. He had nobody to blame but himself, he had got himself into this torturous situation. He’d known from the start it wasn’t permanent and yet he had still let himself fall hopelessly in love with Makoto. His dead angel.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth

Haruka walked down the corridor after another boring lesson. He just wished the day was over so he could get into his tub. He’d overslept that morning so Makoto hadn’t allowed him his usual soak.

In truth he had woken up relatively early, plenty of time for a leisurely bath, but when he’d felt Makoto against him, soft fingers on his skin, he’d decided he would just close his eyes for five more minutes. Five minutes soon became over an hour, and he was late.

He’d spent most of the morning alone, Makoto soon disappearing after his first period. It wasn’t unusual for Makoto to flit away but he usually returned within ten minutes. Currently there was no sign of him.

He froze when he noticed three figures at the other end of the corridor, the exact three people he planned to avoid until his graduating day. With a groan he changed direction, heading towards the toilets until he was sure the corridors were empty for lunch.

He felt utterly ridiculous, leaning against the grotty bathroom wall and listening to the sounds of students on the other side. He should really just face the swim team and let them know that he had no intention of joining them, but he didn’t want to be rude.

Not that he was usually bothered but he didn’t want to disappoint Makoto. He could handle him angry, he could handle him annoyed, but disappointed was the worst. As if what Haruka had done was so bad he wasn’t even upset with him just shocked that it would even happen.

After the last voices disappeared he left the bathroom, inwardly screaming when he noticed a threesome waiting by his locker. He abruptly turned before they had a chance to even notice him and headed straight for the roof. It wasn’t as if his lunch was in his locker anyway – he’d forgotten it this morning – but he had at least wanted to dispose of his bag.

He squinted as he stepped out into the sunlight to identify the mysterious figure sitting in the shadows. He smiled in relief when he noticed Makoto sat there with a bento box nestled in his lap.

“Ah, there you are.” Makoto greeted.

Haruka nodded briefly in acknowledgement before he sat down beside him, taking the lunch that Makoto had obviously walked home, prepared and walk back especially for him.

“You’re later than usual.” He commented in slight concern.

“Bathroom.” He shrugged, digging in to his food.

“You didn’t go to your locker.” He frowned, Haruka cursing that Makoto knew his routine almost better than himself.

“Too much effort.” He offered, hoping it wouldn’t arouse too much suspicion.

He didn’t want to give away the real reason and have those sad, disappointed eyes looking at him.

Both Haruka and Makoto jumped when the sound of the door being thrown open and rattling against the wall echoed around them. They turn towards the entrance only to see the same three people Haruka had tried so hard to avoid.

“I told you he’d he up here!” The shortest one shouted, Haruka still unsure whether he was Rei or Nagisa.

“Fine, you were right.” Rin sighed, unfortunately Haruka did know his name.

“Nagisa-kun, please stop.” The blunette sighed as the other boy did what he assumed was supposed to be a victory dance. At least it cleared up the who’s who debate.

Haruka can’t contain the groan in his throat when the group walks towards him. He had wanted at least a day or two of peace before they started hounding him again.

“I thought we’d agreed I’d find you when I was ready.” Haruka huffed when the group was closer.

“Yeah, well Nagisa was getting impatient.” Rin explained, smiling affectionately at the small, bouncing blonde.

“So have you decided?” Nagisa demanded, jumping forward onto his knees until he was practically nose to nose with Haruka.

“Nagisa, please!” Rei cried, pulling the boy back just as he appeared to be attempting to climb into Haruka’s lap.

“Yes I have.” He nodded, shooting a nervous glance towards Makoto.

Before he even had a chance to respond, Makoto had reached out and gripped his chin, the warm touch causing his skin to flush. He couldn’t question the strange action as his whole head was being forcibly moved up and down.

“Yes?” Rin questioned, eyeing his bizarre nodding in confusion.

“Yes!” Nagisa cried, jumping on a spluttering Rei this time instead of attacking Haruka.

“No.” Haruka disagreed, despite his vigorously nodding head.

“Yes.” Makoto said to him.

“Yes?” Haruka asked him in confusion.

“Yes?” Rin repeated.

“No.” Haruka frowned.

“No?” Rei sighed.

“Yes.” Haruka replied, still nodding like a fool.

“Yes!” Nagisa screeched.

“Alright, everybody stop.” Haruka snapped, moving his head away from Makoto’s grip.

The threesome all flinched at his outburst, none of them wanting to be the one who broke the silence, but it appeared Makoto did not share this sentiment.

“At least go for one session.” He insisted. “You never know, you might enjoy it.”

“I highly doubt it.” He hissed, glancing to his side.

“Ghosts again.” Nagisa whispered, watching the older boy in fascination.

“Well you will never know until you try.” Makoto replied, ever the optimist.

“I don’t want to.” He practically pouted.

“It’s just a couple of hours for one day, you do this and I will drop the issue forever.” He promised.

“Fine.” He agreed, turning towards the others. “I will come this afternoon to see if I like it and if not you have to leave me alone.”

“Sure, seems fair to me.” Rin smiled, holding his hand out.

With a groan, Haruka took his hand and let the exuberant red head shake, if he was being honest he was getting sick of his body parts being man handled.

“Thank you Haruka-senpai.” Rei smiled politely, before standing tall.

“See you later Haru-chan!” Nagisa sang before dragging his team away – no doubt to gossip, but Haruka didn’t care.

Once they were alone again, he turned on Makoto, eyes pinched with anger and forehead creased.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I was just doing you a favour.” Makoto insisted, pushing his lunch forward in a desperate attempt at distraction.

“I didn’t ask you to.” He huffed, snatching the food.

“I know, you don’t ask me to do anything but you’re stuck with me.” He laughed softly.

Haruka only rolled his eyes in response, turning his focus back to his food and hoped to spend the rest of his lunch in peace.

“You’re coming with me.” Haruka told Makoto as they walked to his final lesson of the day.

“You don’t need me there.” He shook his head.

“I know I don’t _need_ you but I want you.” He said, stubbornly turning his face to one side to avoid Makoto’s face.

He knew the exact look he’d be giving, that soft smile, those crinkled eyes, slightly pink cheeks. Just that adorable face was enough to reduce Haruka’s insides to a puddle.

“Okay Haru-chan, I’ll come with you.” Makoto agrees, Haruka hearing the look in his voice.

…

With great reluctance, Haruka made his way to the pool, feeling Makoto practically vibrate with excitement behind him.

Ordinarily, the sight of water would have him stripping down at the speed of light and leaping into the crisp, cool liquid. But he knew what this was, it was the potential to be the beginning of the end. The long sought after friendship Makoto was insistent he needed, enough social interaction to deem his angel no longer needed.

Haruka refused to let that happen, he refused to ever give up on Makoto. He’d fake his way through this practice, act like he hated it and then it would just be the two of them again. The way it was supposed to be.

“What’s that?” Haruka asked, looking down at the trail of white powder he’d disturbed with his arrival.

“Salt.” Nagisa beamed with pride.

“Why?” He frowned.

“For purifying.” He explained, as if it made perfect sense. “No other worldly spirits here.”

“Right.” Haruka said slowly, watching Makoto glance around in nerves – an angel afraid of ghosts, it was utterly ridiculous.

“It’s just sugar, don’t worry Haruka-senpai.” Rei assured, engaging in some bizarre pre-swimming stretches.

With a shrug Haruka stepped forward, gasping as he saw the water glistening in the sunlight. Most times Makoto and he came to the pool it was after hours and it never looked this breath-taking. The blue was beyond anything he’d ever seen before, it sparkling, it shone, it beckoned him.

But he wanted to stay close, each step towards the water was a step away from Makoto, and that was something he wasn’t ready for yet.

“Go on, have a swim.” Makoto encouraged, nudging him forward slightly. “I’ll watch from over there.”

Haruka’s eyes trailed Makoto as he moved, avoiding Rei and Nagisa with a soft smile and sitting on the only bench around the pool.

“Right! Just because we have a new member does not mean we can slack!” Haruka winced as a screechy red head yelled at them from across the pool.

“Aw, Gou-chan, don’t scare Haru-chan away already.” Nagisa pouted.

“He has to really know what being on this team is like.” She scoffed, going to sit down on the same bench as Makoto – the angel having to scoot along quickly before she sat in his lap.

“Right Haru, do you need to borrow a swimsuit? Because we have a load in the…” Rin trailed off as he watched Haruka discard his uniform to reveal his jammers underneath. “Or not.”

Without waiting for further interaction Haruka glided across the floor and dived into the water, sighing in relief as he felt the water envelope him.

“Told you you’d enjoy yourself.” Makoto called from the side-lines.

“Shut up.” He grumbled.

He covered his eyes when Rin eagerly jumped into the pool, causing ripples and splashes in the water with just his presences. The simple reactions he wished Makoto could one day cause.

“Hey, Haru. I’ll race you. What’s your style?” Rin asked, with a cocky grin.

“Free.” He replied.

“You’re on!” He agreed. “Gou, call it.”

“Oni-chan!” She whined, annoyed that nobody would take her earlier threat seriously.

“Come on, you can ride our ass another day.” He rolled his eyes.

She looked towards the other members of the team but neither Nagisa nor Rei were on her side, both seemed more than ready to watch a race.

“Fine.” Gou relented as the two boys climbed out the pool to take their marks. “Marks, set, go!”

Haruka flew through the air, slicing into the water like a knife through hot butter. The water didn’t resist him, it welcomed him, it held him as he swam and moved. Arms pulling and feet pushing as he kept time with Rin. He didn’t care about winning, about racing, but his passion for swimming pushing him forward, giving him speed.

When they reached the turn he sailed through the water, getting a slight edge on Rin in the final seconds. Breaking through the water for a breath mere seconds before Rin.

“Haru-chan beat Rin-Rin.” Nagisa gasped, all three of the younger members staring at Rin, waiting for his reaction.

“Not bad.” Rin panted.

“You too.” Haruka returned the compliment.

“Best two out of three?” He smirked.

“Sure.” He agreed, far less reluctantly than he would have hoped.

Haruka lost track of the amount of races they had, the amount of times he won, he lost, they drew, the amount of time that had passed. But what he did know that when he finally paused to catch his breath and glance towards the bench Makoto was long gone.

…

“So, what do you say?” Rin asked as the four of them exited the changing room. “You going to join?”

“What?” Haruka asked, mind far too distracted by Makoto’s sudden disappearance. “Sure.”

“Yay! Haru-chan!” Nagisa cheered, forcing him into an extremely uncomfortable hug. It had been months before he’d got used to Makoto’s overly affectionate personality, he wasn’t sure he had the patience to do it with a whole other person.

“Thank you Haruka-senpai.” Rei smiled, for once making no attempt to rein in the blonde demon.

“Great.” Haruka said, forcing Nagisa off him. “Look I have to go.”

He heard a chorus of goodbyes but he didn’t respond, he needed to find Makoto and soon.

It was getting late, he had probably left to make Haruka some dinner, he knew he’d be hungry after practice and he didn’t want him to wait for food. He’d greet Haruka with that same warm smile, he’d ask him about practice and everything would still be the same as it was.

It had to be.

Despite how fast he was moving the journey home had never seemed so long before, seemed so empty and alone.

He almost tripped in his rush to get up the stairs to get to his house, practically bursting through the door.

“Makoto!” He shouted, running into the kitchen only to be greeted with an empty room.

He continued to shout as he ran around all the different rooms, desperate to see some sign of life in his house. He berated the tears that formed in his eye, his body shaking when he came to the realisation that Makoto was not here.

It couldn’t be over this quickly, it couldn’t be one practice and that was it, Makoto had given up on him.

“Makoto!” He screamed, his voice breaking towards the end of the name.

He had to hear him, he had to be somewhere out there and know he needed him. They were in tune with each other, Makoto could understand him without him having to say any words. He would have known Haruka wasn’t ready, he couldn’t be abandoned yet.

Makoto wouldn’t leave like this, he wouldn’t slip away without a goodbye. There would be warning, if he knew Makoto there would probably be tears and hugs, but there would be a heartfelt farewell. He’d never sneak off while he was distracted, he had more class than that.

“Makoto!” He shouted again, desperation seeping into his tone.

He fell down to the floor, knees curling under him as he rested his head in his hands, he was completely alone.

“Please come back.” He whispered into the empty silence.

Unbeknownst to Haruka his angel was closer than he thought, stood just outside his house and listening to the sounds of pain on the other side. His heart ached as he heard Haruka’s gentle sobs, magnified due to their divine connection, rattling through his whole body while in reality they were as quiet as a mouse.

He longed to go in there, comfort Haruka and assure him he wasn’t gone yet but he knew he shouldn’t. Haruka needed to get used to being alone, weaning him off slowly rather than a sudden cut off. It may hurt but it would benefit Haruka in the long run.

He remembered his mother trying to break the twins out of a similar habit. She’d told him they were just doing this for attention and they needed to learn to be more independent. He supposed in a way that was what he was doing with Haruka right now.

Only this wasn’t the loud, fake cry of his twins, this was real, hurt sobs and Makoto was the cause for it.

He hated to admit but during their practice he’d felt jealous, and that was ridiculous because his whole purpose in the afterlife was to help Haruka. But he’d felt truly invisible as Haruka raced Rin, as if he’d been forgotten, as if he didn’t even exist. Which he supposed in a way he didn’t.

And that was the worst truth of all, one day he would cease to be and Haruka would have moved on. He would have someone new, be it Rin or someone else, he’d forget all about him and live happily while Makoto finally accepted his fate.

“Makoto!” Another cry came shooting through him, squeezing his heart, begging for him to come back.

“I’m sorry Haru.” He whispered, feeling tears spring at his own eyes at the sound of his Haru pain.

…

Kisumi stroked his soft, pink hair with a proud smile. It may have taken a long time but Makoto was finally getting somewhere with his mission. Recently he’d been worried that they would never get anywhere and that he’d made a mistake assigning Makoto to Haruka but it was finally coming together.

He watched as Haruka broke down, tears streaming down his face for someone who was just a few paces away. What sweet irony.

He knew he shouldn’t condone such cruel treatment of a human, after all he was there to help them but sometimes for the greater good a little rain must fall.

It also helped that he was worried Haruka was getting a little too attached to his Makoto. It was foolish but he was possessive of all his angels. These pig headed humans thought they were at their beck and call, sole purpose in life to please them.

They were really there for Kisumi, their sole purpose was to make his life easier, to make _him_ happy. But he supposed they never really thought much outside of themselves.

He glanced back at his world to see Makoto, fighting his inner demons to stay outside, to stay away from Haruka in his time of need.

“Good boy Makoto.” He purred. “Give him space.”


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expertly betaed by Zaabeth

Haruka lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with sore eyes. It had been less than a day since he’d last seen Makoto but he still felt empty, he still felt wrong. He wanted to believe that yesterday had been a cruel dream, that in a moment Makoto would walk into the room with a warm smile.

But the dry tears that itched at the delicate skin around his eyes told him otherwise. He was alone, and Makoto had left him.

Haruka dragged himself out of bed and gasped when he saw his reflection in the mirror. He looked a mess. His hair stuck out at odd angles, his eyes were red and raw, his skin looked so pale that the veins underneath were easily visible, and his lips were swollen from where he’d tried to hold back sobs. If this was what he looked after a day how was he meant to survive a lifetime alone.

Only he wasn’t alone, he had the stupid swim team. But how was he meant to care about them when they were the reason Makoto left him. How could he enjoy himself with the people that killed his love?

He sat down in his empty bath and let the water fill around him. Caressing him. Soaking him. Protecting him. Saving him.

And yet the water didn’t provoke the usual calm and serenity inside him, instead he still felt as if a tsunami raged in his stomach. He missed Makoto, fiercely, as if it had been months since they’d last been together.

It was a strange sensation, he always believed he’d missed his parents but the dull ache he felt for them was nothing like this pain. This raw, clawing pain that ripped at him, that poked and prodded until he felt tears again.

He didn’t fight the tears, he let them fall. Watching as they rippled into the water and vanish from existence. Just like Makoto.

…

Makoto sat on the beach, watching the breeze brush over the sand, wishing he could feel the wind on his skin one last time. He watched the waves lap against the shore and his toes, wishing he could feel wet again.

When he’d been alive the water had been one of his greatest fears. The unknown, dark ocean was so unforgiving, so cruel. It had terrified him.

But that paled in comparison to his greatest fear now, being forgotten.

Sure, Haruka had been upset last night but how long would he feel that way? Would it be a week, a month or even a year before he’d forget Makoto? Would he just be nothing more than somebody that he used to know, not the person who saved him. Would he talk about Makoto to others or would he forever be locked away in the darkest corners of his mind?

Makoto wondered about Sousuke. Had his best friend forgotten him? Sure they’d been close growing up, but he’d disappeared so suddenly. Sousuke wouldn’t have still cared for him. Once Makoto had been buried in the dirt he would have surely moved on.

What about the twins? They’d only been four when he’d died… they would never have known who he really was. With prompting Sousuke may recall, but the twins would never remember.

When he left this world forever who would remember him? Who would remember the way he laughed until he cried if someone tickled his toes? Who would remember the way he squealed when he saw a cat? Who would remember how he smiled? Who would remember how much he loved his friends and family? Who would remember his voice? Who would remember his fears? Who would remember his likes?

Who would even remember Makoto?

…

Haruka’s fingers had pruned. His toes were beginning to go too. He wouldn’t be surprised if his whole body began to raisinate but he couldn’t find the energy to care. It was as if Makoto had taken everything with him when he’d left.

“Haru!” A voice cried on the wind, Haruka cringing at the sound.

Why was his mind so cruel, to play the voice over and over in a constant reminder of what he’d once had, what would never be again.

“Haru-chan?” The voice continued to assault his mind, sounding so real despite being nothing more than a happy memory.

He physically jumped when he heard the bathroom door fly open, revealing a flustered Makoto.

“Makoto?” Haruka asked, voice croaky. His heart leaping into his throat as he watched the tall boy stride across the room.

“You should be at school.” Makoto scolded slightly with a frown.

Haruka found himself floundering, they’d slipped back into their old routine so easily. Was yesterday just a bad dream? Were they going to pretend it hadn’t happened? Was Haruka going to pretend his heart hadn’t cracked just a little?

“I’m not feeling well.” Haruka finally answered, it wasn’t necessarily a lie. He had woken up this morning with a thick throat, a swirling stomach and a clenched chest. But just moments with Makoto, realising he was still here, was quickly alleviating some of those symptoms.

“And lying in tepid water is supposed to help?” He shook his head, letting his hand drop into the water just to prove his theory.

“I lost track of time.” He shrugged.

“Ridiculous.” Makoto shook his head, taking hold of Haruka’s hand and pulling him out the bath.

Haruka stood wordlessly in the middle of the tiled floor as Makoto flitted around him, drying his skin, massaging his hair, pressing his hand to his head to check his temperature – which was lower than it should be. As he let himself be forced into some warm clothes he decided they could pretend just for a little bit, the questions would come later but right now he wanted to soak up Makoto’s presence. Who knew when it would go again?

…

Haruka watched Makoto cook his breakfast. He longed to reach out to him, to hold him, to touch him. Just to confirm he wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

The air between them was thick with tension and unanswered questions, either Makoto hadn’t noticed or he was an expert at ignoring. He supposed after taking care of Haruka for three years and ignoring how desperately in love he was, Makoto was a bit of an expert.

“I’m making soup.” Makoto announced. “I know it’s not your preference but it’s the best when you’re ill.”

His words were caring but Haruka could easily read the tone, it told him Makoto didn’t believe his claims but wasn’t going to pick up on it. Similarly to dealing with children, there was a constant war between rules and restraints and Makoto had to pick which battles to fight and which to let slide. He supposed after joining the swim team he’d become a little more lenient.

“Fine.” Haruka shrugged, just like Makoto knowing when it just wasn’t worth the fight.

As he watched Makoto move around the kitchen, completely natural, he wished he’d appreciated all these small things more. He wished he could tell his 13 year old self that this wouldn’t last forever. Sure, he’d known that at the time but that inevitability had seemed so far off. And yet, three years had flown by and he was already losing his Makoto.

“Here you go.” Makoto said, placing the food in front of Haruka.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, wincing slightly as the spices burnt his tongue.

“To sweat out the fever.” Makoto said with a smug grin, obviously there would be some reprimands for his actions.

Haruka nodded, feeling unable to form words right now. Makoto had sat next to him and closer than usual. As if Haruka wasn’t the only one who had suffered through their absence.

There was an electricity between them. It would be so easy to touch him, to gently take his hand within his own and finally cross that line of friendship. Haruka felt his heartbeat in his ear and was sure his cheeks were red but out the corner of his eyes he could see Makoto’s reaction was as relaxed as normal.

Haruka couldn’t help but wish, for once, Makoto would have a human reaction. If his heart still beat would he blush when he was close to Haruka? Would his palms sweat when they touched? Would he jump at the sparks between them with each indirect caress?

“So tell me.” Makoto said, resting his chin on his hands. “What exactly was wrong with you?”

“I don’t know.” Haruka shrugged. “Flu.”

“Flu? This has come on suddenly.” He teased.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.” He offered, taking a big spoonful of his medicine.

“I guess we’ll have to keep you on bedrest won’t we?” He asked, thinking he’d won this time.

Ordinarily, Haruka would protest and Makoto would easily catch him out in the lie. But today was different. Today he was willing to be mothered, he was willing to be cared for, he was willing to let Makoto have his way. If it meant he’d stay.

“You’re probably right.” Haruka nodded.

“Oh.” Makoto’s smile dropped. “Are you really not feeling okay?”

“What did I say?” He asked with a withering look.

“I’ll go see if I can find some medicine!” He worried, jumping up from the table.

In his haste to leave, Makoto nudged a leg and the subsequent wobble almost caused Haruka to lose all his soup – not that he was complaining, it was dire. Once alone, he poured it down the sink and pretended he’d rushed it down.

Makoto stumbled back into the room, spilling pills, sachets and bottles on the table.

“These are all the cold and flu things I could find.” He panted, as if he’d ran miles rather than just to the bathroom.

He hurriedly uncapped the bottle and poured the bright pink liquid onto the strange, measured spoon.

“Open wide.” Makoto urged, mimicking the action as if dealing with a small child.

Haruka did as he was told and swallowed the sugary liquid, it hadn’t been replaced since he was six years old so he assumed child medicine wouldn’t do much damage to him.

“Right, I need to mix this with hot water.” Makoto mumbled to himself, reading the instructions on sachet packet. “You head up to bed and I’ll make you the drink.”

“Okay.” Haruka nodded, reluctantly leaving the kitchen.

He wanted to stay close but at this point Makoto believed he truly needed him, he wouldn’t just disappear again. He couldn’t.

…

Half an hour, and one bitter flu remedy later, the pair were lying in Haruka’s bed. One lying on his back and the other leaning on his elbows to watch over and protect.

“How you feeling?” Makoto asked, brushing back his bangs to feel his forehead.

Haruka wished he could feel something, his hair felt as if it had been moved by magic, the pressure from the hand nothing more than a mere whisper.

_Why aren’t you real?_ His mind screamed, begged for another way. Haruka would have given up all his ties with this world if it meant he could be with Makoto.

“Why did you leave yesterday?” Haruka asked, ignoring the gentle inquiry.

“You didn’t need me.” He shrugged, flopping onto his back to avoid eye contact.

Haruka’s heart dropped, did Makoto really think it was that easy? To just pawn him off onto some group and he’d suddenly be okay? He suddenly wouldn’t need him?

“That’s not true.” He shook his head, the action pointless as Makoto continued to evade his direction.

“Haru.” He sighed. “I was barely there ten minutes. Be honest with me, when did you notice I was gone?”

“Straight away.” He furiously lied because he hated the truth. He hated the fact he’d managed to let Makoto slip through his fingers.

“You’re lying.” He denied. “I can feel when you’re in pain and you felt nothing at practice.”

“You felt my pain?” Haruka gasped. “You knew how much I was hurting last night and you still stayed away?”

“Haru, that was for your own good.” He defended, sitting up in bed. “I thought it would help.”

“You thought abandoning me would help?” He hissed, never being one to raise his voice.

“You know it’s going that way anyway, what difference would it make?” Makoto shrugged.

In an expected move, Haruka pounced, resting his whole body against Makoto’s back and wrapping his arms around his waist. After holding himself back for the whole day he finally allowed himself this closeness.

“Because you didn’t say goodbye.” He mumbled into the other’s neck. “Because the last thing I would have felt for you was anger at forcing me into the swim club. Because the last thing I would have said to you was shut up.” _Because I wouldn’t have ever told you how I really feel._

“I’m sorry Haru.” Makoto replied, placing his hands over Haruka’s own.

Haruka sighed at the contact. This is what he wanted. This closeness. He never wanted to give this up, to lose this freedom to be fully himself. Haruka never imagined being this close and intimate with someone else. Feeling so comfortable that he’d forgive his humility to show how important they were.

“Don’t disappear again.” He demanded, his voice cracking as tears threatened to fall again.

“When I leave forever I promise I will say goodbye.” Makoto promised, awkwardly leaning his head to gently brush Haruka’s own.

He couldn’t help but notice how it wasn’t a full promise. Sure, when the time came Makoto would leave properly but that didn’t mean every so often he would vanish. And who knew how long it would be? It could change from nights to days to weeks, even to months.

“Why are you doing this?” Haruka asked, berating how pathetic he sounded.

“I need you to be ready. I’m going to have to leave eventually.” He said, attempting to untangle himself from the embrace, but Haruka’s hold stayed strong.

“But you’re all I have.” He said, using Makoto’s own purpose against him. He knew he was here to help Haruka make friends, see the true value of relationships – or some spiel like that. But if he refused to allow anyone in then Makoto would be bound to him forever.

“Not yet but one day Rin could be…” He started but Haruka cut him off.

“He’s not Makoto.” He pouted.

“I know, Haruka.” He laughed slightly, his body shake forcing Haruka to move too. “But one day he will be more important to you than me.”

The air surrounding the pair tinged with sadness, Haruka shivering at the thought of someone replacing Makoto is in his heart. Forcing him aside until they took over a place that didn’t belong to them.

“Are you cold?” Makoto asked, having felt the shiver against his back. “Shall I get you a blanket?”

Without waiting for a response, Makoto rushed from the room. His mothering mode switching back on full force the second he feared for Haruka’s well-being.

Once he was sure he was alone, Haruka grabbed his phone to text Rin – the red head insisting they exchanged numbers now they were team members. Nervously glancing down out his door he sent the text.

He rarely used his phone which resulted in clumsy and slow actions but he managed to finish the deed before he even heard the creak of Makoto’s return.

_I think I was too hasty agreeing to join the team. I need to think about it some more._

He placed the phone back on the bedside table and returned to the position he had been left in, as if nothing untoward had happened.

“Here you go Haru.” Makoto smiled, bundling the smaller boy up in a mountain of blankets.

“Thanks.” He rolled his eyes, head feeling heavy with the pile of four, fluffy covers.

He vaguely saw his phone light up out the corner of his eyes, he thought his minimal reaction would go unnoticed but nothing slipped by Makoto. He was trained in the art of reading Haruka, every flinch, every twitch, every look told a story.

“Can you promise me something?” Makoto asked.

“Depends what it is.” Haruka gave him a look.

“Promise me you will at least try.” He said, not having to go into further detail. They both knew exactly what he was talking about, who he was talking about.

“Sure.” He nodded, crossing his fingers under the blankets. He hated lying to Makoto but if that was what it took for the greater good then so be it.

“Thank you.” Makoto smiled, that proud smile that made Haruka feel sick to his stomach when he realised he didn’t deserve it. “Shall we watch a film?”

“Sure.” He croaked.

Makoto flashed another smile before reaching for the control and setting up the DVD. It was one they had started the other week but Haruka had been too tired to fully invest in it. Once again he couldn’t focus, instead he felt his heart race as Makoto rubbed his shoulders and arms. He knew it was an attempt to warm him up, an act that he carried out many times if Haruka got caught in the rain or didn’t dry his hair properly.

And it was warming him up, setting him on fire in all the wrong ways. Innocent Makoto, not realising how his actions meant more to others. How Haruka wanted to rip off his blankets and let Makoto touch his skin, feel his breath.

“Someone wants to get through to you.” Makoto joked, stopping his gentle caress and glancing at his lit-up phone.

“I will look later.” Haruka said, another lie slipping from his lips.

He would never bother to check Rin’s angry tirade, it didn’t matter to him at this point. Makoto had made it clear that he couldn’t have both in his life, it wasn’t a difficult choice for him to make. And if it meant he could keep his angel he knew he would never regret it.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth!

Haruka stood in the sea, eyes tightly closed, sighing as the cool water lapped around his waist. Kissing the bare skin of his chest as the salty air filled his senses.

Slowly he allowed his eyes to open, letting the sunlight almost blind him as it reflected off the brilliant blue of the ocean. He felt completely calm and at peace until he noticed it.

Stood far off was Makoto, head bent forward, shoulders hunched as he stared down at the water.

Haruka pushed through the water towards the other, but it seemed thicker than usual, as if he were walking in oil rather than liquid. The more he moved the thicker it seemed to get. But he wouldn’t give up, he would reach Makoto.

After what felt like hours he reached him, but Makoto didn’t respond. He just continued staring, as if he hadn’t even noticed Haruka arrive.

“What are you doing?” Haruka croaked, shocked by his own voice.

“Waiting.” Makoto replied, voice void of any emotion.

“Waiting?” He questioned. “Waiting for what?”

“For my time to leave.” He shrugged, eyes finally moving from the water towards the sky.

“But you can’t leave.” Haruka desperately begged.

“Haru.” Makoto laughed sympathetically. “You knew this day would come.”

“But I can’t survive without you.” He admitted.

“You should have thought about that before you let Rin in.” He bitterly snapped.

“No.” Haruka shook his head.

“Just go. We both know it’s too late.” He sighed, a stray tear that Haruka hadn’t even noticed building slipped down his cheek.

The sun moved in the sky, in a way that Haruka had never seen before. It lined up with them, sending out a beam that highlighted Makoto like the true angel he was.

“No!” Haruka shouted, jumping forward in one last attempt at saving his love.

But instead of holding Makoto like he’s imagined he simply moved through him, feeling nothing more than a chill as he passed through his skin.

“What?” He whispered, staring down at his hands.

“I have no ties with this world anymore.” Makoto said, serenely accepting his fate.

“You do, I will always need you!” Haruka cried.

He helplessly reached out, Makoto couldn’t leave like this. He needed to hold him for the last time, to feel something before he broke again and was left utterly alone.

“I love you, please say you love me too?” He begged. “Tell me you feel something.”

Makoto let out a soft scoff at the statement, finally turning to look at Haruka with dead, empty eyes.

“I can’t feel anything.”

“You’re lying!” Haruka tried to deny.

“You’re just a human, alone. Who cares for a thing like you?” He laughed bitterly.

The glow around Makoto grew, so strong Haruka had to shield his eyes, the water bubbling around him as it reacted in the direct heat.

When it was finally all over and Haruka lowered his hands he was alone, even the sun had left him. There was nothing but complete darkness.

…

Haruka woke with a start, heart beating erratically as he tried to calm his breathing. He glanced to his side, hoping to see the sleeping face of Makoto to relax him, to reassure him but all he was met with was an empty pillow.

Never before had a bed seemed so wide.

After Makoto’s first disappearance Haruka thought everything would go back to normal. He had returned to his side and wouldn’t be leaving until he was truly ready, and the way he was holding everyone at arm’s length he was sure that it would never happen.

But it seemed the reuniting was short lived as Haruka found himself alone again, longer this time. He knew it wouldn’t be forever, Makoto promised he’d never leave without a goodbye but he still felt uncomfortable with the unknown.

It had been a week since he’d last seen Makoto, the usual presence he’d grown accustomed to gone from his life. He’d tried carrying on as normal but it was getting to be difficult.

He struggled to get out of bed in the morning without Makoto’s smiling face. He never wanted to leave the bath if there wasn’t a strong hand to pull him out. He loathed leaving the house if there wasn’t a soothing, cheerful voice filling the silence. Even sleeping proved difficult without a tired goodnight from Makoto.

Haruka had reached a standstill, an imaginary fork in the road. He could either continue his life as before and just wait until Makoto would show up again, never knowing when he’s reappear and for how long. Or he could close off, force Makoto back to his side.

He could give up completely, give up on school, that stupid swim team. Refuse to eat, sleep, look after himself until Makoto returned. To look care for him as he always did.

What Haruka wouldn’t give to turn back time, to when they were younger. He’d felt free then, he hadn’t needed anyone else, his grandmother had left him, his parents had left him. But Makoto hadn’t, a part of him believed he would always be there but all good things had to end.

He glanced at his phone for the time – the only purpose he really had for the device – before deciding to sleep again. He knew he would be late for school, if he even went at all, but it all meant that Makoto would be back sooner.

…

Haruka was in the bath when he heard a noise, a door rattling. His heart leapt into his heart at the sound. It had to be Makoto, nobody else would just invite themselves into his home.

He jumped from the water and skidded out the room, not caring about the puddle and drips following him as he blindly ran in nothing but his swimsuit.

But when he reached his living room disappointment swelled in his chest, so strong he almost felt bile rising into his throat.

“What are you doing here?” He hissed at the red head stood in his hallway.

“Your door was open so I assumed it was okay.” Rin awkwardly explained.

“Get out!” He shouted, if he were thinking more rationally he would realise he wasn’t angry at Rin, not really. But without Makoto he couldn’t think straight, his mind was a jumble of pain waiting for him to come back.

“Alright, calm down.” Rin said, awkwardly holding his hands out in surrender. “I shouldn’t have just let myself in.”

“You shouldn’t have come here at all.” He growled.

“We were all worried about you. You haven’t been to practice all week and then you didn’t even turn up to school today.” He tried to rationalise.

“It’s not your job to worry about me.” Haruka snapped, it was Makoto’s. Rin was trying to take his place and he wouldn’t allow it.

“You’re part of the team, that means something you know?” He said as Haruka ushered him to the door.

“I don’t care about you and your team.” He shouted, pushing him out his house. “I quit!”

“Hey, let’s not do anything hasty now.” Rin practically begged.

“Too late, it’s done.” Haruka said definitively, attempting to shut the door but groaning when he realised there was a rather annoying foot in the way.

“Let’s just calm down and talk about this. If you think about it you have no reason for leaving.” He smiled in what he hoped was a calming gesture.

“I can’t be on your team, as long as you’re around he’s not.” With that low growl Haruka slammed the door, ignoring the slight yelp of pain from the other side.

Haruka’s hands were practically shaking as he walked back through his home but he felt good, he felt satisfied. He had finally done it, he finally removed the barrier that separated him and Makoto. Without Rin there would no excuses, there wouldn’t be a reason for Makoto to leave. He would see how much Haruka needs him and he would stay.

He wouldn’t have any other choice.

He jumped when he walked back into his room, not expecting the presence of another this soon after Rin’s departure.

“Makoto.” He gasped, fighting down the smile that threatened to spill over.

“You need to stop doing this.” Makoto sighed, shaking his head.

“Doing what?” He asked, feigning innocence.

“I heard you with Rin.” He told him.

“Oh.” Haruka replied dumbly.

What more was there to say? He knew exactly what Haruka was doing, how he was manipulating the situation to get his own way. Childishly maybe but he was willing to do anything to keep Makoto.

“You can’t fight this.” Makoto said softly, in such a whisper Haruka was barely certain he’d spoken.

“I can try.”

Makoto laughed quietly at his determination, he knew Haruka was used to getting his way and he supposed he was partly responsible for that but Kisumi was too powerful.

“You can’t.” He shook his head. “What you’re fighting against, it’s too big, bigger than just you and I. The whole universe is in the palm of the gods’ hands. What we do has no effect.”

“I think you underestimate how stubborn I can be.” Haruka teased lightly.

Makoto smiled back, but it felt fake on his cheeks. He wished he could share some of Haruka’s positivity but he knew that they were nearing the end. He had felt it the moment Rin had met Haruka, it was if his tie to earth was slowly breaking. Each day he woke up he felt less like he belonged, as if he were fading away.

He knew it was a foolish feeling, he hadn’t been part of this world for a good three years now but with Haruka that didn’t seem an issue. He felt real when he was with the other boy, as if his heart could beat again if it just tried, if it was just given that final push.

But now he felt empty, hollow. And each time he was with Haruka that feeling just doubled.

That was the real reason he avoided being around, he tried to pretend he was doing it for Haruka, that in the long run he would need to live alone so why not ease him into it. For the greater good. But in truth he knew it was because he couldn’t bear to feel their bond break. That invisible string that held them together was fraying, one sharp cut and it would snap.

And Rin was holding the scissors.

…

Rin sighed as he walked home, flicking through his phone contacts until he came across Rei’s name. He needed to speak to both team members but they were usually together so it killed two birds with one stone.

“Hello Rin-senpai?” Rei’s voice answered, quickly followed by a voice shouting in the background.

“Rinrin! Put him on speaker Rei-chan.”

There were sounds of fighting and a struggled before Nagisa won and he was put on speaker phone.

“Hello Rinrin!” Nagisa cried. “I am a little upset you chose to call Rei-chan over me.”

“Eh, I knew you’d be at his house and stealing his food.” Rin shrugged, despite neither boy being able to see him.

“Was there something you wanted?” Rei asked helpfully.

“Yeah, I’ve just come back from Haru’s…” He started to explain, only to get cut off by the excitable blond.

“Oh, how is poor Haru-chan? Is he terribly ill?” Nagisa asked, the pout practically evident in his voice.

“Not quite.” Rin admitted.

“What do you mean?” Rei questioned. “He’s been absent from practice every day this week.”

“Yeah, he’s decided to quit the team.” He said.

“What?!” Nagisa screeched. “No, that just can’t be! Please tell me this is a lie.”

Rin winced and pulled the phone away from his ear, leaving Rei to calm down the other boy. He was far better at it anyway. After what he felt was a safe amount of time Rin brought the phone back to his ear.

“So, it’s just the three of us again?” Rei asked solemnly, Nagisa sniffling into what he assumed was Rei’s shoulder.

“I’m afraid so guys.” Rin bit his lip, he was meant to be the captain and keep the moral alive but even he was floundering. “But it’s not the end of the world.”

“How can you possibly say that Rinrin?” Nagisa sobbed. “We needed Haru-chan to make up numbers. For the relay!”

“I guess so, but if we found him then we can find another team member. One that’s even better.” Rin said in an attempt at sounding positive.

“Really?” Nagisa asked softly.

“Really, we don’t need Haru.”

“But Rin-senpai, it did take us quite a few months to find a fourth member. We haven’t had much luck.” Rei said sheepishly.

“We will, trust me.” Rin lied through his teeth.

In truth, Haruka was a great addition to their team and that much sought after fourth member they so sorely desired. But if he didn’t want to be on their team then so be it, they would be better off without him.

…

Kisumi watched the entire situation with a small smirk, carelessly tossing a human figurine back and force between his fingers. If it weren’t so hopeless he might even laugh. Did Haruka – a pathetic little human – really think he could outsmart a god?

Granted, he was clever and he’d found a loophole in Makoto’s contract. If he never let anyone in then Makoto would be forced to stay but did he expect Kisumi to take that sort of insolence lying down.

“We need to get you back soon Makoto.” Kisumi said, watching as Makoto flitted around with Haruka following after him like a love sick puppy. “Or Haruka will never give you up.”

Taking away a human’s loved one was nothing that Kisumi couldn’t do, many gods did it on a regular basis. For the standard reasons of death or in some cases they had just taken a fancy to a pretty little human. But forcing an angel to leave a loved one proved more difficult.

Makoto would leave, he knew his job and he knew he had to let Haruka go. But the more the human fought against the inevitable the more likely he was to get a hold of Makoto’s heart. And if he succeeded it made Kisumi’s life that little bit more difficult. Not impossible, just complicated.

He looked down at the human he held in his hand, garish red hair and hideous teeth – why some gods cared for these creatures he would never understand. But as he thought about Makoto’s gorgeous smile he decided maybe, and just maybe, he could see someone growing rather attached to a human.

With a quick flick of the wrist the figure was thrown back onto his map, in the same place as he was plucked from mere minutes before as it nothing had changed. And from the outside nothing had, but inside something was growing, changing.

Rin was becoming more determined, more persistent, more convinced that Haruka was the man for his team. The red head would not be going down without a fight, Kisumi would see to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I have no real excuses just sheer procrastination


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Zaabeth

Haruka sighed as he made his way to school. He really hadn’t wanted to go this morning but Makoto was not letting him get away with another day in bed. At least Makoto had let them walk along the front this morning, the sea between his toes, splashing the bottoms of his trousers. It felt like heaven.

He let the other boy fill in the silences - right now he just couldn’t focus. He glanced over his shoulder with a heavy heart, just one set of tracks being washed away by the waves, no evidence Makoto even walked beside him.

He wondered to himself if he could live like this forever, in constant fear that Makoto would be taken from him. Knowing that no matter how much care or affection he would put into this relationship, Makoto would never be real.

“I also think you should talk to Rin.” Makoto said, breaking Haruka out of his thoughts.

“Excuse me?” Haruka looked towards him with a frown. That would be the last thing he wanted to do today.

“I think you need to reconsider being on the team.” Makoto told him diplomatically.

“I’m not doing that.” He shook his head stubbornly.

“Haru, we are not having this argument again.” He sighed. “You know I’d win.”

“Oh really?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Really, so let’s save us some time and just agree that you’re joining again.” He smirked as Haruka brushed the sand off his feet and put his shoes back on.

“No, I think I would like to hear some of your arguments.” He teased.

“Because you need them.” Makoto said seriously, nipping any more playful banter in the bud as they continued their journey.

“Why would you think that?” He shook his head. “I don’t need anyone when you’re around.”

“I can’t stay with you.” He said softly, but he knew the other boy heard him all the same.

“Why not?” He mumbled, freezing as he realised they had reached the school gates.

“Because I’m dead Haru.” He said, causing the other boy to gasp. Sure they both knew the truth but the words were never said. “I’m not meant for this world anymore, my soul needs to move on.”

“But I can’t live without you.” He protested. “Please don’t leave me.”

“When I do finally go you won’t even notice, you’ll have all you need and it will be a relief to get rid of me I’m sure.” He attempted to joke.

Haruka felt tears stinging the back of his eyes, begging to fall, but he held them back. He longed to hold Makoto, to tell him he would never be complete without him but he knew he couldn’t. Students milled around them and hugging thin air would look strange.

“I think you better go in.” Makoto smiled.

“Aren’t you coming too?” He asked, despite already knowing the answer.

“Not today but I will be waiting at home for you. I expect you back after five as you will have gone to swim practice. Do I make myself clear?” He frowned.

“Yes mum.” He rolled his eyes.

“Good.” The frown quickly being replaced by a smile. “I will see you later then.”

Haruka nodded and headed into school, glancing back just in time to see a girl in a hurry run straight through Makoto. The other boy laughed at the incident but it broke Haruka’s heart, knowing the man he loved would never be his, would never be alive.

…

Haruka was walking to his first lesson when a hand roughly grabbed him, turned him around and forced him against a fence.

“Rin.” He stated when he was face to face with furious red eyes.

“We need to talk.” He growled.

“About?” He questioned in a bored tone.

“About that stunt you pulled the other day.” Haruka simply raised his eyebrow at the comment and Rin knew he’d have to elaborate further. “You can’t just up and quit on us! We are a team, we support each other and help each other. We certainly don’t turn our backs on each other!”

“Right, I’m sorry.” He hissed as Rin pressed him further into the fence.

“So if you think I’m going to accept your shitty excuses you are mistaken, you are a part of this team whether you like it or not.” Rin declared, eyes narrowing as if daring Haruka to fight him on the matter.

“Alright.” He nodded.

“What?” Rin gaped, loosening his hold slightly.

“I’ll stay on your weird little team if you just let go of me.”

“Right, yeah, sorry.” Rin smiled sheepishly, taking a step back.

“So I will see you later then?” Haruka questioned.

“Sure.” Rin nodded, a little confused.

“Great.” He shrugged, rushing away from the boy. Just because he’d agreed to re-join the club didn’t mean he planned to spend any more time with him. Swimming may be for Rin but his free time was for Makoto, nothing would ever change that.

…

Makoto pottered around Haruka’s house. He felt slightly bad for forcing the boy to become a permanent member of the swim team so the least he could do is make sure he comes home to a clean house. And maybe even dinner if Makoto was feeling particularly generous.

He pulled a cup out of the soapy water in front of him and gasped as it slipped through his fingers and landed with a splash. He tried over and over but the cup kept escaping his grasp. The same thing happened with the sponge and the plug, his hands uselessly sailed through them.

He panicked slightly. He knew other people would often walk through him, he knew he didn’t leave an impression when he sat or walked, that he didn’t disturb objects when he clumsily nudged them. But if he focused, he could hold things. But right now it seemed impossible.

Unless it was because he was no longer part of this world, he wasn’t needed anymore.

He shook his head, it was only lunch time. Haruka wouldn’t have gone to the swim club yet, he couldn’t have been replaced.

Slowly he reached forward, hands grabbing the sponge and squeezing until suds seeped out in victory. He heaved a sigh of relief as he was able to pick up the cup and continue his task of cleaning. Almost as quickly as it had come the sensation had disappeared.

But Makoto still shook slightly. One day that would be his fate, to no longer have a place on this Earth. And as it got closer to that day he found himself more and more terrified.

…

Haruka was sure his teeth would crack with how tightly he had them clenched. Apparently being on this team meant forced bonding over lunch, or at least that seemed to be the situation he found himself in.

Currently, Nagisa was getting on his last nerve. The other two he could just about handle but if the blonde screeched and threw himself against Haruka one more time he would hit someone.

God how he missed Makoto.

“Who’s Makoto?” Rei asked, Haruka frowning slightly as he had clearly muttered the words aloud.

“Just a friend.” He shrugged

“I didn’t know you had friends.” Rin commented. “Fuck, that didn’t come out right.”

“Of course he does!” Nagisa exclaimed. “He has us! And Mako-chan.” He added with a smile.

“Right.” Haruka nodded, unsure how much he was allowed to reveal about Makoto.

“Is he real or is he other worldly?” Nagisa asked with sparkling eyes, obviously referring to the rumours that circulated about Haruka.

“He’s dead.” He replied bluntly, hoping to scare the other three away.

“So that’s true? You can actually talk to the other side?” Rin rose an eyebrow.

“Apparently so.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“What an interesting gift.” Rei gushed.

“How do you do it?” Nagisa questioned. “Do you have to light candles and summon them?”

“No, I only speak to Makoto.” He shook his head.

“Oh.” Nagisa frowned in disappointment.

“And I don’t summon him, he is always there.”

“Is he here right now?” Rei asked, uneasily glancing around them.

“Not at the moment, he’s at home.” Haruka explained.

“As in your home?” Rin frowned.

“Yes, that is where he lives.” He sighed, why was this so difficult for them to understand?

“Haru-chan lives with a ghost?!” Nagisa giggled. “How exciting!”

“I suppose.” Rin shivered slightly. He’d been in his house but hadn’t felt the presence of another. Had Makoto been there? Watching him? Was he a benevolent ghost or was he something more sinister?

“What does he feel like?” Nagisa continued to probe. “Is he cold? Can you even touch him? Does he just float around?”

“I can touch him but nobody else can.” He said possessively. “And he only reveals himself to me. But he looks and feels human except…”

“Except what?” Rei prompted after Haruka trailed off.

“Except he doesn’t have a heartbeat.” He mumbled, looking down at his food.

Sensing the shift in the mood even Nagisa knew when a good time to change the subject was.

“Haru-chan’s lunch looks scrummy!” He cried. “Perhaps you would like to split our lunches between us?”

Haruka sighed but nodded all the same, quickly learning with Nagisa it just wasn’t worth the battle. He handed over his lunch and let Nagisa take half the contents and replace it with his own. In truth he didn’t want to touch the sugary concoction the other boy had presented him with but if it meant he’d shut up about Makoto he’d do anything.

…

Haruka blinked slightly as he stepped out into the sun, gasping slightly as he noticed the water reflecting in the sun. As much as he hated being around other people he certainly enjoyed the chance to be in the water.

“Who’s that?” A female voice called out, Haruka turning towards the sound in confusion.

“That’s Haru-chan.” Nagisa explained. “He’s our new member.”

Haruka felt the girl’s eyes trail up and down his body, judging him, assessing him. Suddenly she broke out into a sprint in his direction, he glanced around in panic but there was no way to escape. Quickly she was by his side and grabbing his arm.

“Look at these incredible tricep muscles.” She gushed.

“I… What?” He frowned, glancing at Rei and Nagisa who didn’t seem to be batting an eyelid so this must be normal behaviour.

“And those abdominal muscles are to die for.” She shivered.

“Oi! Gou!” Rin called, having joined the group outside. “Let go of him!”

Reluctantly the girl let go, her eyes still sparkling as she took in the body in front of her.

“Haru, this is Gou. The club manager.” Rin explained, Haruka unsure how this deranged girl could manage anything but he supposed it wasn’t his place to say.

“And his sister.” She smiled proudly.

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around Haruka’s neck. “I apologise for her, she has a little bit of an obsession with muscles.”

“I see.” He agreed, resisting the urge to shrug the arm off him.

“There is nothing wrong with appreciating something like muscles. You have all worked hard for them and they deserve recognition!” She exclaimed.

“If you say so.” Rin laughed, leading Haruka towards the pool. The girl muttering to herself about perfect bodies, deltoids and biceps.

Haruka shook his head slightly as he dove into the pool, they certainly were a quirky group of people, each with their own annoying traits. But he found the longer he spent with them the less annoying he found them and the more endearing they became. Not that he would ever admit this out loud.

…

Makoto felt weak, he could barely keep his eyes open as he lay across Haruka’s couch. He was supposed to be making food now but he couldn’t move. His body felt heavy but also detached to his mind, as if his soul was breaking away from his physical form.

That couldn’t be, he was told he would get a warning, a days’ notice before he left. He promised Haruka a proper goodbye, he would not leave without one.

But as he felt his eyes flutter close he realised he would not be able to control the inevitable. If he were to leave this world he had no choice but to go.

He lay still, listening to the clock slowly click down the seconds until he was gone, he just hoped that Kisumi took his body too. He would hate Haruka to come home to such a sight.

But despite his acceptance of his fate he found it never came, instead the life slowly returned to him, he got stronger and stronger.

His eyes slowly opened again and he glanced at the clock. 4:30. The exact time Haruka would be leaving school. Soon he was able to sit up again, feeling more alert and awake. After about ten minutes, when Haruka would be walking alone along the beach, he was able to stand.

He stumbled towards the kitchen, maybe he had pushed himself a little too much too soon but he was quickly able to prep and make dinner just like he had planned.

Maybe this was how he was destined to spend his time now, without Haruka he clearly didn’t exist. He knew he should feel happy, Haruka had obviously let down his walls and was letting Rin in but he couldn’t help but feel jealous. Knowing their relationship could last a lifetime while his and Haruka’s was limited.

He shook his head to rid himself of these selfish thoughts, he knew his job, his role, and he would carry on as if nothing had changed. He would struggle through the pain of their separation in silence, he would never tell Haruka of his trails lest it alter what is supposed to be. He knew he would fight it even harder if he knew that Makoto was in pain.

He just needed to cherish the time they had together because who knew how long it would last.

…

“I’m home!” Haruka called out as he walked into his house, half of him expected to be greeted with an empty silence.

“In the kitchen.” A cheery voice answered.

Haruka practically stumbled over himself as he eagerly rid himself of his shoes and ran towards the kitchen. His heart stuttered when he saw the perfect man prepping dinner, as if he couldn’t quite believe he was there until he’d seen it with his own eyes.

“Hello Haru-chan.” He greeted with a smile, the other boy too excited by his presence to chastise the nickname. “Did you have fun today?”

“Eh, it was okay.” He shrugged, afraid the truth would offend him.

But he forgot how easily Makoto could read him, he gave him a wide smile and his eyes fluttered shut. Hiding the pain before it was even visible to the other boy.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” He quickly turned back to the counter.

“They seem nice.” He offered. “Maybe tomorrow you could come.”

After telling them about Makoto what difference would it make if he told them he was there, granted he wouldn’t go into depth about him being an angel but they could stick with the ghost theory. He could act as a go between for conversation then Makoto could be a part of that area of his life too, then he’d never have to let him go.

But as he saw Makoto heave a sigh and place his knife on the counter top he knew his dream wouldn’t ever come to life.

“Don’t be silly Haru, you don’t want me cramping your style.” He joked but the tone didn’t match the words.

“You know I always want you around, whatever I am doing.” He disagreed.

“You don’t need me anymore.” He told him. “Rin, Rei and Nagisa are all you need.”

“That’s not true.” He shook his head.

“Three is better than one.” He laughed hollowly.

“It’s quality not quantity.”

Makoto didn’t respond to his comment, instead he carried on cooking as if nothing was amiss. As if this was just another normal evening between them, as if Makoto was just cooking another meal, as if the air wasn’t thick with tension.

“You could at least come with me to school.” Haruka attempted. “I missed you.” Although they didn’t speak during lessons just having that presence next to him made him feel at peace.

“No you didn’t.” He disagreed, grabbing a wok and placing it on the hob.

“Why are you being like this?” He asked in disbelief.

“I’m not being like anything.” He disagreed, transferring the chopped vegetables to the pan. “I’m just not playing these games anymore.”

“What games?” He frowned.

“Just drop it Haru.” He said sternly.

“No, not until you tell me what’s going on.” Haruka demanded, spinning Makoto around.

He gasped at what he saw, he expected anger, he expected rage but instead he was met with pain and regret.

“What happened today?” He asked, clearly having missed something. Maybe Kisumi had given him his time today, the date he would leave.

“Nothing, I just realised some things. Being with me isn’t healthy for you, you need real friendships with real humans.” He said.

“You’re real to me.” He whispered.

“I know.” He smiled softly. “And I think for a while I believed you, I believed I could outrun death, that I could cheat a God. But I know I can’t anymore, whatever happens I have to go.”

“But I don’t want you to.” He admitted, taking a step closer so their chests were pressed together.

“I don’t either.” He confessed. “But we can’t fight fate.”

Haruka licked his lips as he took in every detail of Makoto’s face, committing it to his memory. Every freckle, every brown fleck in his green eyes, the soft lips and the hard cheekbones. Slowly he rose to his toes, feeling relieved when Makoto didn’t flinch, didn’t move back. He closed the difference between them, this was their moment, sure it could have been under better circumstances but he wasn’t going to fight it.

He gasped when he felt Makoto’s lips against his own, he expected them to be cold, to be lifeless but instead they sparked. It felt like electricity when they kissed, shocks of pleasure shooting through him. The kisses were soft, they were chaste, they were loving, they were everything Haruka expected from Makoto’s kiss and more.

It was a strange sensation, the body against his own felt cold and lifeless but the lips were alive, they ignited as they moved with his.

Feeling bold, Haruka nibbled on Makoto’s bottom lip, silently asking for more but being politely refused. Hands were pushing him away and suddenly their perfect moment was ripped from him.

“No.” Makoto shook his head. “You can’t do this.”

“But I enjoyed it.” He said with a sly smirk.

“That doesn’t matter.” He smiled fondly despite himself.

“That’s all that matters to me.” He shrugged, reaching forward to kiss Makoto’s cheek as the other boy stubbornly turned his face to the side.

“Haru. Stop.” He protested, pushing Haruka back with a little more force than last time.

“Why kiss me back if you’re not interested?” He frowned, the rejection manifesting as defence.

“I… I never said that.” He mumbled. “I’m just doing what’s best for you.”

“Stop deciding what I need, it’s my life.” He protested.

“Do you honestly think this is a good idea?” He asked in disbelief.

“You’re here for me, surely what I say goes!” He frowned.

“No, I’m done indulging you.” Makoto shook his head, wishing they wouldn’t spend their last days together arguing. “I’m going to leave you Haru, you can’t fight it. You’ll only end up hurting yourself more if you pursue this.”

Haruka knew he was right but he didn’t want to accept it, he wanted Makoto, he wanted to bury himself in their love and never surface. Never face the truth.

“I think it would be best if you had some space.” Makoto announced, heading towards the door.

Haruka acted quickly, chasing after Makoto and grabbing his wrist before he could get too far.

“Don’t go.” He pleaded. “I love you.”

The air was thick with the confession, it was always implied with every clingy, possessive gesture. That kiss surely just confirmed what they both already knew but somehow the words made everything real and a little bit scary.

“You can’t.” He whispered, pulling away from his hold. “I’m sorry Haru.”

He watched helplessly as Makoto walked away, out his life again for who knew how long. How could he, after everything Haruka had done and said he still walked away from him.

He felt tears falling down his cheeks, he quickly turned and ran up the stairs. Forgetting all about the food waiting in the cold pan in the kitchen, he threw himself in bed, cover over his head to hide from the world.

…

At three in the morning, Haruka’s front door opened and a silent figure slipped into the house. Straight to the bedroom the figure went, seeking out the owner of the house.

Makoto sighed when he saw a fully dressed Haruka in his bed, dry tears still straining his cheeks. He bent down beside the bed and brushed back black bangs, sighing in relief when the sleeping boy didn’t stir.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “But you have to understand it needs to be this way. My time is almost up, I can feel it, I’m disappearing a little each day, and I won’t let you hurt yourself like this.”

He leant forward and pressed a soft kiss on his crown.

“I love you Haru, don’t ever think that I don’t but we can’t be together. You need to love someone else. Love Rin, love Rei, love Nagisa, love all the people who want to be a part of your life. That is the least you deserve.” He smiled. “Just don’t love me, I’m not worth it.”

Haruka moaned and mumbled in his sleep, Makoto’s name sleepily falling from his lips.

“Sometimes I feel you would have been better off never having me around.” He shook his head. “I think I just made your life more complicated than it needed to be. I’m sorry for that too.”

With one final kiss on Haruka’s lips Makoto stood tall.

“Goodbye Haru, I will be back just before I leave but only then. You need space, I know you don’t agree with me but you’re ready to move on. I can tell.”

He gave him a hesitant, longing look but forced himself to leave, knowing this was exactly what the boy needed.

…

“No!” Kisumi screamed, bursting into a room with clay hearts on every surface available. He roughly pushed them aside until he found the one he was looking for.

He groaned as he looked down at the green heart in his hand, a crack developing down the middle thanks to the stunt Haruka had pulled earlier this afternoon.

“This has never happened before.” He mumbled to himself, slipping the heart into his pocket and flouncing out the room again.

All the years he’d been sending souls to protect human’s he had never had an issue, everything had gone off without a hitch until now. Haruka was really throwing a spanner in the works.

He rushed to his world map and saw Haruka’s figure, Makoto’s angel nervously floating by despite the space he had promised to give the other.

“If this angel refuses to give up on this lousy human I am screwed.” He complained, nervously stroking the heart in his pocket.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth

“Another perfect lap.” Gou complimented, clicking the stopwatch as Haruka burst through the water with a gasp.

“As expected of Haruka-senpai.” Rei gushed.

“Haru-chan is amazing!” Nagisa agreed as the boy began another lap. “We’ll win with him, no doubt.”

“Yeah.” Rin nodded, nervously biting his lip.

He wasn’t blind, he could see Haruka’s heart wasn’t behind his swimming. He was distant and quiet again, closing himself off to any form of friendship. They were lucky that he still deemed their club important enough to come to. Lord knows it had been a struggle to start with.

And Rin knew it would be pushing Haruka out his comfort zone but he couldn’t just stand by silently and watch the other boy. He was clearly hurting. He lived alone and he needed some support. Whether he wanted it or not.

“Come on, we can’t just stand around all day.” Rin shook his head, snapping the whole club out of their daze.

“Right, we all need to practice our technique.” Rei said.

“Yes!” Nagisa enthused. “Haru-chan is putting us all to shame.”

With a smile the three boys jumped in the pool, ignoring the protests of Gou who had got wet in the splash.

…

Haruka sat on the beach, watching as the sun slowly set beneath the tide, disappearing from sight and leaving everyone to fend for themselves. But like clockwork, the sun would be back, it would brighten up the world and life would carry on.

If only Makoto were as predictable as the sun.

He felt his presence near him, he knew he was watching over him despite the separation but he never revealed himself. Always a secret that Haruka could never find.

Since he was alone Haruka felt no need to go home. His house was cold, empty and lonely now. It barely felt like a home.

“Can I sit here?” Rin asked, Haruka jumping at the unexpected voice.

“Sure, I don’t own the beach.” He shrugged.

Rin laughed slightly at the comment but sat down beside him nonetheless. It was a comfortable silence between them, one of a budding friendship. While it was nothing too meaningful yet, there was the relaxed feeling of something soon to come.

Haruka wasn’t sure how it had happened but he really did consider Rin a friend, all of the swim team really. And he knew in his heart that meant an end for Makoto and his relationship. But he couldn’t fight it. Whether he wanted them to or not the team had worked their way under his skin.

“So, you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Rin asked, casually drawing shapes in the sand with a stick.

“Nothing.” Haruka quipped defensively.

“Come on.” Rin snorted. “You’ve been quiet, even for you, recently.”

“I suppose.” He agreed, reluctant to admit that Rin was getting to know him so well.

“And why is that?” He probed.

“It’s complicated.” He settled for saying, not quite a brush-off but hopefully enough that the topic will be dropped.

“Lucky for you I have no plans for the evening.” Rin smirked, nudging his shoulders.

“But…” Haruka sighed. After a month alone he was desperate for someone to talk to. “Okay. I have a friend, well he’s more than that really but that’s not the point. He’s… He hasn’t got long left.”

“What? Like he’s dying?” He gasped.

“Something like that.” He nodded. “And I know it’s selfish but since I know we haven’t got long left together I just want to spend every minute with him.”

“That’s not selfish, that’s perfectly reasonable.” Rin reassured him.

“Yeah, well he has different ideas.” He huffed with a pout.

“Right, and what are those?” He asked.

“He thinks we need space, so when he does finally leave I will be prepared. But it’s just stupid, why waste what little time we have?” He scoffed.

“Haru, have you ever thought about things from his perspective?” Rin questioned.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“Imagine what he is thinking. Knowing he’s going to die, I mean we all know we’re going to die but just picture having a cut off. Having to sit and practically count down the days until you’re just going to stop existing. And yes it’s difficult for you but nowhere near as difficult as it is for him. And maybe he needs space, maybe it’s too hard being around you knowing that it could be his last.” He said.

“I never thought of it like that.” He sheepishly shrugged.

“No, why would you?” Rin laughed. “Most people only think about how things affect them. It’s human nature to be a little self-centred.”

“I’m just not used to it.” He admitted. “He usually does what I ask, it’s strange that he’s not listening to me anymore.”

“Well I’m sure he has his reasons.” He offered.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Haruka agreed.

They fell into another comfortable silence after that, watching the sunset in a newly acquired companionship.

…

It was dark by the time Haruka finally made it home, he and Rin having sat until the very last remains of daylight had disappeared. Rin had suggested they grab something to eat but Haruka had politely declined. In truth he wanted to have a bath and think about everything.

About Makoto. About what Rin had said. About his feelings.

All ready to spend the night in the water, Haruka noticed a light on in the living room. It was strange as he didn’t remember turning it on in the morning but what other explanation could there be?

His heart beat doubled as he thought of the other reason the light might be on, he practically ran to the room and almost cried when he saw the familiar figure sat on his sofa.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d be home.” Makoto smiled.

“Makoto.” He whispered, rushing forward and into an embrace.

He wanted to be angry, after all he had confessed to Makoto and Makoto had essentially avoided him since then. But he just didn’t have the heart to do so. He was just so glad he was back. He no longer cared about his reasons for leaving.

“It’s good to see you too.” Makoto said, returning the embrace.

Haruka felt all the tension leaving his body. It didn’t matter if Makoto left or for how long, just so long as he came back. Just so long as Haruka never had to truly let him go.

“There is something we need to talk about.” Makoto started, loosening his arms but Haruka refused to move.

“No, don’t mention it.” He shook his head, his faux-pas when they were last together would just ruin this moment.

“I have to, we can’t ignore it any longer.” He disagreed.

“We can try.” He quipped stubbornly.

“Haru.” He scolded lightly. “I need to say this.”

“Fine.”

“Today is my last day with you, tomorrow I have to return to Kisumi.” He croaked, voice breaking at the end of his confession.

“What?” Haruka gasped, finally moving away from the embrace.

“I’m sorry Haru but…”

“No! I won’t let him take you from me.” He shook his head firmly.

“I’m afraid there is nothing you can do.” He smiled sadly.

“I don’t care, I will find a way.” He shouted hysterically. “I can’t lose you, I love you.”

“We’ve already had this discussion.” He sighed, letting Haruka caress his cheeks nonetheless.

“Please, I want you.” He bit his lip.

“You can’t have me.” He whispered. “I… I’m dead. When you cut me I don’t bleed, my heart doesn’t beat, and tomorrow I will just be another body in the ground.”

“Don’t you dare talk like that!” Haruka snapped. “You will never be just another body to me. You were never dead to me and when we are together I felt alive.”

“Haru.” Makoto smiled, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. “But it won’t change anything.”

“I know.” He agreed regretfully.

Haruka decided they had talked enough. If tonight truly was their last time together he was not going to waste it. He closed the distance between them again, moving until his whole body was pressed flush with Makoto’s.

He gasped slightly when he felt Makoto’s hands on his hips, it wasn’t the first time he’d been touched by Makoto but it certainly was the first time he’d felt it. Usually he gained comfort from just the idea of being held but now he certainly felt something, it was light but it was real.

A moan rippled through the silence as tongues met, neither boy sure who had made the sound, perhaps it was both. But it wasn’t important. All that mattered now was the feel of each other, committing this moment to their minds because tomorrow it would be nothing more than a cruel memory.

Haruka pulled away, panting harshly as he moved to straddle the other boy. He hated how calm he looked, his chest didn’t heave with exertion, his lips didn’t glisten with moisture but his eyes, his eyes shone with affection and lust.

Haruka groaned at the look before eagerly closing the gap between them once again, eagerly kissing him like a starved man. Through the kisses he began to gently roll his hips, each movement made it feel more real, the body beneath him responding more with each touch.

“Hm, Haru.” Makoto moaned. “We can’t do this.”

“You’re right.” He agreed, kissing his neck. “We should probably go to the bedroom.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He laughed slightly, gently pulling Haruka’s head out of the crook of his neck.

“Please Makoto, I love you so much and tomorrow… I can’t let you go without showing you how much I love you.” He begged.

“You don’t have to do that to show me you love me.” He smiled softly.

“I want to.” He disagreed. “Do you not love me Makoto?”

“That’s not the problem Haru, that’s never been the problem.” He shook his head.

“Then say it. I need to hear it.” He admitted.

“I love you Haru.” He whispered. “You’re my entire world.”

“Then let me give myself to you.” He whispered back, voice husky with emotion.

“I can’t, it will make tomorrow so much harder.” He kissed him softly.

“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Or so they say.” He smiled cheekily.

“You’re making this difficult to keep saying no.” He joked.

“Then don’t, grant me this one last request.” He pleaded, eyes shining as if Makoto were something precious, something worth living for. And in that moment he wanted to believe him.

“Anything for you Haru.” He agreed.

Haruka smiled and took his hand, quietly leading him through his house towards his bedroom. Makoto lay on his bed as Haruka fished around in his draws, grabbing lotion and throwing it beside the other boy.

Stood beside the bed, Haruka gracefully pulled his clothes off, not wanting to waste any time that could be spent touching Makoto. Makoto quickly got the message and shed his own clothes, with far less elegance than the other boy.

Haruka climbed onto the mattress and swung a leg over Makoto under he was straddling his hips, his surprisingly solid and warm hips. He leaned down to kiss him, gently stroking his arms and shoulders. It amazed him as the skin came alive under his touch, it was the first time he felt Makoto, truly felt him.

And it was the first time Makoto had felt him, hands running along his body had never felt more physical. It was an unusual feeling, a ghost of a touch, a shadow of pleasure slowly blooming into something more.

Haruka pulled away and sat back on his haunches, looking down at Makoto on the bed, his lips slightly swollen and his hands reaching out to regain that closeness. He smiled to himself as he watched the other boy.

“What?” Makoto asked self-consciously.

“Just admiring you.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Haru.” He moaned, a blush on his cheeks.

With a soft chuckle he reached for the lotion, liberally spreading it around his fingers before leaning forward to kiss Makoto again.

Their kisses slowly got louder, wet and desperate as Haruka’s hand reached down between Makoto’s legs.

“Is that okay?” Haruka asked, despite the finger teasingly circling his hole.

“As long as it’s Haru it’s fine.” He nodded.

Haruka gently pushed his finger in, surprised by the lack of resistance he was met with, as if his body were designed to accept Haruka. But he supposed in a way it was, he was his angel after all.

Makoto barely flinched as Haruka stretched him, too focused on holding the other boy tightly as if he were his lifeline. If his lips were the last thing he ever tasted he would die a happy man.

“Are you ready?” Haruka asked softly between kisses.

“Yeah.” Makoto nodded.

Haruka pulled his fingers out and slathered his length with lotion, spreading Makoto’s legs with his hands so he could fit into the space. He lined himself up and slowly pushed himself inside, moving until he was fully sheathed.

He felt… nothing, as if he’d just pushed into thin air, his heart cracked at the sensation, he wished he could feel Makoto. But if the way the brunette bit his lip he certainly felt something, Haruka felt a pang of jealousy at the realisation.

He couldn’t tell Makoto the truth, instead he just rolled his hips. He knew he’d never felt Makoto before tonight so why did he think tonight would be any different?

And yet, as he moved the heat around his cock grew, it became tighter until his hips stuttered as the warmth enveloped him. Inviting and pulling him deeper.

“You feel amazing.” Haruka whispered, scrunching his eyes shut in pleasure.

“Yeah.” Makoto gasped with a well-aimed thrust.

Makoto felt strange, no blood coursed through him but yet his body felt alive. Everything sparked and ignited under Haruka’s touch, as if his love could really break the curse that he had.

But he knew that was just a dream, never his reality. As much as he wanted this moment to last forever tomorrow it would be over. Haruka would no longer be in his life, his long, lonely afterlife.

He brought his hand up to cover his face, he didn’t want Haruka to see his distress. He didn’t want to ruin their night with his own selfish want to stay in this moment forever.

Haruka opened his eyes and was disappointed by what he say, his lover hiding away from him. He reached forward and gently moved his hand away, gasping at he what he saw.

Makoto was crying, gentle tears sliding down his cheeks. It wasn’t a new occurrence, Makoto was known to be quite weepy when they watched a sad film – or a happy one at that. But he never produced tears, he went through the motions, made the noises, his body shook but it was an empty gesture.

“What’s wrong?” Haruka asked, wiping away the salty liquid.

“Nothing.” He denied. “I just love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiled.

He moved his hand and thread his fingers between Makoto’s, squeezing tightly as his hips picked up their pace again. Soon the only sound between them was gasps and moans, filling the room with their love and passion.

With combined hands they wrapped around Makoto’s weeping cock, stroking and teasing the hot muscle until he was arching off the bed.

Haruka’s movements faltered as he watched the beauty in front of him, Makoto, his angel, in the throes of passion. His cry was loud and uncontrolled, as if he didn’t care who heard him when he was in this much pleasure. His body glistened in the light, a fist tightly gripping the sheet as his body spasmed through the last of his orgasm. Haruka was quick to follow, Makoto’s oversensitive body pulsing around him until his body released deep inside him.

Haruka panted as pulled out, relishing in the moan that left Makoto as he slipped out of him. He collapsed onto the bed, tired but utterly euphoric.

Until he rested his head on Makoto’s chest, after everything that had changed in Makoto’s body tonight he’d almost believed he’d beaten fate. But the lack of heartbeat reminded him just how cruel life was, and their love was still cursed.

“I… Wow…” Makoto laughed awkwardly. “I’m not sure what to say. It was indescribable.”

“It was.” Haruka smirked, pressing a kiss onto hot skin.

Haruka moved so they shared a pillow, eyes meeting and sharing words of love all over again.

“I hate to bring the moment down but…” Makoto started.

“No, please don’t.” Haruka shook his head.

“Just promise me you’re happy, that even after I’ve gone you will still be.” He pleaded, bringing their still joined hands up to his lips and kissing his knuckles.

“I promise.”

“Even after this.” He blushed, despite being completely carefree during the act.

“Yeah.” Haruka laughed.

“Good, that’s all I need to know before I go.” He smiled.

“No, there’s more you need to know.” He disagreed.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I want you to know that I have enjoyed every day that I got to spend with you and you will always have a place in my heart, no matter what happens you won’t be replaced.” Haruka promised. “I’m going to miss you for the rest of my life but I’m happy that I had you at all.”

“Haru.” Makoto teared up at the confession.

“I just needed to tell you that.” He blushed.

“I’m glad you did.” He leaned forward to kiss Haruka one last time.

They lay silent after that, Haruka’s eyes growing heavy as he tried desperately to stay awake. He wanted to save tonight for as long as he could and fight the morning for his love but he could no longer stop his body succumbing to sleep.

“Goodbye Haru.” Makoto whispered as he lost the last remains of consciousness. “I will always love you.”

“Don’t say it like you’re dying.” He yawned.

“I was always dead.” He said, the last words Haruka would ever hear from Makoto.

…

Kisumi stared down at the heart in his hand, what had once been a small crack down the middle was growing.

“Oh Makoto, you stupid fool.” He shook his head as he watched the angel and the human spend their last night together.

He felt the heart heat up, it would have burnt a lesser man than himself but he was determined to hold on. He couldn’t let go because then he’d lose Makoto to that pathetic human.

“Stop this!” He shouted irrationally at the heart.

Twelve little hours he still had to stick out but at this rate he knew it would not go his way.

“Love.” He uttered bitterly. “Always making my life that little bit more difficult.

A loud crack echoed around the room and he knew in that moment it was too late. Makoto’s heart had split in two, half of disintegrating into oblivion, the other half cooling once again.

“Shit.” He cursed, letting the half a heart slip from his hand onto the seat beside him.

Makoto’s heart was split in two, half belonging to the world with Kisumi and the other the world with Haruka. Forever to remain in limbo.

It was up to Kisumi to guide the pieces back together.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Zaabeth

Haruka groaned as he stretched in his bed, the space seeming vast and empty. He supposed he’d have to get used to that. From now on he was fully alone.

He would no longer he see Makoto’s eyes when he woke, his smile when he exited the bath, his laugh as he ate dinner. Makoto would be nothing more than a memory to him.

But as last night flooded his mind he was at least glad they would all be fond. Sure they had their share of arguments, what friends could say they hadn’t? But they all paled into insignificance when he thought of all the good times they had shared.

Who’d have thought that one boy could have changed Haruka’s life so much? When they’d first met he’d found Makoto a little strange and a slight nuisance, but now he couldn’t imagine living his life without him.

Starting from today he’d have to find a way however.

He finally pulled himself out of bed and made his way towards the bath, having the smarts to set a timer. He couldn’t rely on an angel to pull him out anymore.

He grabbed fistfuls of water and let it drop over his head, wishing he and Makoto had met in different circumstances.

Childhood friends turned lovers who didn’t have the threat of death looming over them. Maybe they’d have been high school sweethearts, maybe they’d have gone to university together, maybe they’d have settled down together. But fate wasn’t kind like that.

It had put him and Makoto together in such cruel circumstances that no matter what they’d have done, no matter what course their relationship had taken it would have ended in tears.

He groaned slightly at the alarm that echoed around the bathroom, nowhere near as sweet as Makoto’s voice. He knew he could ignore it, submerge himself in the water and never leave but the pitch was too high to tolerate.

Instead he pushed himself out the water, leaving a dripping trail as he walked towards his phone. It took him longer than was acceptable to shut off the alarm. He never realised how much he actually relied on Makoto even to do the most mundane of tasks.

After finally turned the alarm off he pulled on his uniform, cringing as it dragged against his damp skin. He glanced in the mirror at his wet hair, knowing if he were still here Makoto would scold him for even thinking about leaving the house like that. He smiled fondly at the memory before exiting the room, not caring about the water dripping onto his collar.

He ignored the clock ticking in the hallway. He didn’t need to see the time to confirm he was going to be late for school. But despite it he still needed some food.

He stuck his head in his fridge and his hand almost immediately went for the mackerel, freezing when he heard Makoto’s gentle scolding in his mind.

_Mackerel for breakfast again?_

Haruka sighed at the voice, amazed that he could reprimand him even from beyond the grave. He let the fridge close and grabbed some toast, deciding a little change in his diet wouldn’t really hurt him.

He begrudgingly ate his breakfast and grabbed his bag, he was over an hour late at this point but would it really matter? The highlight of his day wasn’t until the afternoon anyway.

…

Despite being so late, Haruka took a detour and wandered down the pier, pulling off his shoes and letting his feet drop into the water.

He leant forward slightly and frowned at his reflection. Sad eyes stared back at him. Water that had once been his saviour, his joy, now taunted him with a miserable truth.

Haruka the loner, once again alone.

He briefly wondered about Makoto, what he was doing now. He pictured his smiling face as he spread his wings, proudly and regally behind him. He’d sore through the sky, elegantly slicing through the clouds, flying to where forever begins.

Haruka liked to think Makoto was waiting for him, waiting until he could see his face, feel his love once again. And in turn Haruka would hold onto the memories of the blissful times together, pretending they were immortal and would never have to live apart.

What if Haruka just leant forward a little further? What if he let his body fall into the sea? What if he didn’t fight against the water but instead embraced it? What if he left this world early and spent eternity in a better place by Makoto’s side?

But in reality he knew he could never do that. He could never take Makoto’s once crowning glory and throw it in his face. An angel whose human killed themselves, would that not be frowned upon in the afterlife.

Instead he knew he’d just have to dream, dream of Makoto until his soul could move on from this earth.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat watching his reflection, unsure of how the sun moved across the sky, but the time did pass. And soon his once solitary reflection became two.

“Thought I’d find you somewhere around here.” Rin teased as he sat beside him.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Haruka replied.

“Nah, lunch break.” He gestured with his head. Haruka frowned slightly at the action until two more bodies sat beside him.

“Hello Haru-chan.” Nagisa greeted warmly, nudging Haruka’a shoulder.

“Hello.” He greeted the second years.

“Why weren’t you at school?” Rei reluctantly asked, refusing to meet his eye.

“Just thinking.” He shrugged.

“About your friend?” Rin asked, receiving a nod as response. “And is he still…”

“Not anymore.” He shook his head sadly.

“I’m sorry Haru-chan.” Nagisa said, Rin obviously having filled them in.

“We’re always here for you Haru-senpai, if you should need us.” Rei offered. “Not that I’m trying to replace him.”

“I know.” Haruka nodded.

The other three continued chatting around him but Haruka didn’t join in, instead watched the four watery reflections. No longer alone in the word, just an invisible presence behind a stoic boy.

Now there was four.

…

Haruka smiled to himself as he watched the team splash around in the pool, even though he knew he would never truly forget Makoto or get over him, he was glad he still had his friends. He still had the support and love that he needed, even if it was coming from a different source now.

“Let’s do a relay.” Nagisa suggested. “Just for fun.”

“But we don’t have anyone to do backstroke.” Rei reminded with a frown.

“Oh yeah.” He pouted.

“If it’s just for fun we don’t really need to do the proper strokes.” Rin grinned, always eager to swim together as a team.

“Yeah!” Nagisa nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ll do it.” Haruka spoke up.

“The relay?” Rei questioned.

“No, backstroke.” He replied.

“I thought you only swam free.” Rin teased him.

“I do, but a friend once told me swimming is better when you can see the sky.” He smiled a secret smile and glanced up at the cloudless blue above him.

“If you say so.” Rin agreed. “I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Haruka nodded once and swam towards the starting block as the others climbed out and lined up.

“Gou, call it.” Rin instructed.

“Sure.” She nodded. “Marks. Set. Go.”

At the call Haruka arched his back and split tore through the water, staring up at the clear sky as he swam. He allowed himself a small smile, knowing as he looked up a pure spirit watched him.

…

Makoto walked down a long corridor, eerily calm and quiet just like the first time. Part of him wanted to turn and run, never have to face Kisumi. But he couldn’t fight the inevitable any longer. He’d made his bed and he had to lie in it.

His feet echoed as he walked. It was a strange feeling but he supposed he belonged on this plane of existence. He could feel the walls, touch the clouds, a sensation that he hadn’t even realised he’d missed until now.

He wondered if there would be food in heaven, another small luxury he’d missed out on.

He froze when he came to a familiar archway, knowing exactly who was waiting on the other side.

“Makoto.” Kisumi purred, when the man walked into the room. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“I suppose it has.” He nodded.

“Have a seat.” He gestured and a chair appeared. “We have a lot to discuss.”

“Okay.” He swallowed nervously, perching on the chair.

Kisumi slowly rose to his feet, seeming taller and more ethereal than the last time he’d seen him. He paced around Makoto’s chairs a couple of times, making the boy feel even more nervous. In his memories Kisumi had been kind and friendly, now he found him menacing and imposing.

“You took a little longer than I expected.” Kisumi finally broke the silence.

“Well, Haru was very stubborn.” He shrugged, jumping slightly as he felt two hands land on his shoulders.

“Oh I know, which is exactly why I sent you.” He squeezed. “I knew I could count on you.”

“Thanks.” He smiled uneasily, the grip getting tighter.

“And what did I ask you to do?” He questioned.

“To help Haru.” His voice shook.

“How?” Kisumi probed, moving around so he was stood before Makoto, looming over him.

“By showing him the importance of friendship?” It even sounded like a question to his ears.

“Friendship. Correct.” He smiled patronisingly.

Kisumi swept away from him, sitting back in his chair. He eyed Makoto calculatingly, balancing his chin on his hands as if waiting for him to confess.

But he’d had nothing to confess, he’d done as he was meant to, he’d left Haruka and come here exactly as he’d been told.

“And at any point did I tell you to fall in love with him?” Kisumi asked.

“Well, no.” He sheepishly shook his head.

“But yet you did it anyway.” He sneered. “You deliberately disobeyed me and now I’m left with a pathetic half of a heart.”

Makoto jumped as his voice rose at the end, a broken clay heart being thrown carelessly at his feet.

“Brother!” A voice shouted.

“Hayoto.” Kisumi rolled his eyes as a cherub flew into the room.

“You know this is not how you deal with these situations.” He scolded his older brother.

“I do things how I see fit.” He rolled his eyes. “Your job is later.”

“Yes but you will scare him into making the choice you want him to rather than the one in his heart.” He frowned.

“Fine, fine.” He sighed. “I’m sorry Makoto, but you must understand that this is not an ideal situation you have created.”

“How?” He croaked.

“Do you know what this is?” Kisumi asked, clicking his fingers so the clay heart began to float in the air.

“No.” Makoto shook his head. “Should I?”

“It’s you heart.” He told him. “Well half of it anyway.”

“Where is the other half?” He asked, dreading the answer.

“Inside of you.” He said, but the frown that Makoto gave him showed he didn’t understand. “Let me explain, when you die your heart belongs to a God, we then use this for what we feel fit. In your case, to help Haruka. However, I don’t solely own your heart anymore, I share it with Haruka. And as Haruka is alive, that means so is half your heart.”

“But surely that’s happened before?” Makoto asked. “People must have been in love when they’ve died.”

“Of course, but that lover only owns your heart while you’re alive, once you die ownership got transferred. However, when it happens after you’ve died things become a little more complicated.” He frowned.

“How so?”

“Well, now you have a choice to make.” Kisumi told him, a joyful smirk on his face. “But be warned, each choice comes with its own heartaches.”

Makoto nodded, he could stand any heartache if it meant he could be with Haruka again. Even if it were for only a year, a month, a day. He would do anything to be by his side one more time.

“Hayoto will take you now.” Kisumi said, walking towards the other side of the room, as if he couldn’t even bare the sight of him anymore.

“Come with me Makoto.” The cherub encouraged with a smile, flitting towards the exit.

Makoto followed after him, casting one last glance at Kisumi who didn’t even watch him leave. Instead he hunched over his world, watching his people with his fist tightly curled around a figure.

Hayoto finally stopped when they reached the edge of Kisumi’s cloud, his temple far behind them, no ruins or columns in sight.

“As Kisumi said, you have two choices. You can let Kisumi have ownership of your whole heart and earn your wings or you can leave him with only half and return to the human world.” Hayoto explained.

“I’ll go back, please.” He eagerly replied.

“It’s not that simple Makoto.” He shook his head. “If you choose to give Kisumi the rest of your heart you must relinquish Haruka’s hold, meaning you would forget all about him but live forever in a blissful ignorance.”

“Why would I pick that?” Makoto crinkled his nose, he would never give up Haruka, they loved each other, a love so powerful it brought him back to life.

“Because if you choose to go back then you are not to see Haruka again, you cannot seek him out because his destined future should not involve you. He will still own your heart and your love will never die but you must both live without each other.” He told him with a sad smile.

“Oh.” He bit his lip.

Which was better? Letting go of everything or holding onto the memories? Never knowing Haruka or knowing he could never see him again?

“I… I would still like to go back.” He swallowed, despite the pain he knew he would still cherish everyday he got to spend with Haruka.

“Okay.” Hayoto nodded, taking Makoto’s hand a carefully leading him off the cloud.

Makoto allowed a small gasp to escape his lips as they floated, amazed that the cherub’s small, flapping wings were strong enough to hold them both up.

“You must understand though that when you do die your whole heart will belong to Kisumi once again, and he will not be happy about your choice.” He warned.

“Of course.” He agreed, he’d face the God’s wrath if it meant remembering Haruka.

“Then this is goodbye.” Hayoto smiled.

“How does it work? Do you…” But Makoto was not able to finish his question before Hayoto was releasing his hold on his hands. Suddenly the weightless feeling ended and Makoto was hurtling towards the Earth, eyes tightly shut as he got closer and closer to the ground.

When he felt no impact he slowly opened his eyes, his lids feeling heavy and tired. He realised he was no longer in the air but lying in a bed in a white room, machines and equipment around him.

A dull beeping sound echoed around him as he took in his surroundings, where had Hayoto left him?

“Hello?” He croaked. “Is anybody there?”

He frowned when he didn’t get a response, he pushed himself up, his body feeling lethargic and protested the move until he sagged back against the pillows.

“Hello?” He said, slightly louder this time but his voice still sounded weak and the noise didn’t carry.

He looked towards the table next to his bed, littered with cards and presents, a large bouquet of flowers brightening up the room.

The door to the room opened and he eagerly turned towards the sound, smiling at who he saw. His mother. Looking older and broken compared to when he last saw her but it was still his mother.

“Mum.” He smiled.

“Makoto.” She gasped. “You’re finally awake.”


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses, I am terrible at writing regularly nowadays

Makoto stared around his room in confusion, three years his mother said he had been in a coma, three years lying in this bed, three years unconscious. Had he imagined everything with Haruka? It had all felt so real but the subconscious was a powerful thing, had he really created an entire world and accidentally fallen in love with a figment of his imagination? Was his imagination really that incredible?

And in the three years he’d been there he’d never thought to ask where he was, what was the name of the town. In his mind it had been quaint, a small seaside town, but they were a dime a dozen in Japan. He was sure that he’d been to one on his last holiday before the accident.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes, if it had been just a dream why couldn’t he shake it?

“Hi Makoto.” The voice made him jumps, glancing to where the sound bad come from.

“Hello?” Makoto frowned at the tall stranger in his doorway.

“I’m glad to see you awake, finally.” He smiled, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

Makoto starred the stranger down, he supposed they were the same age so he must have been someone he knew before who’d never given up hope. But three years was a long time and they had certainly changed what had once been a childhood friend. He looked at his eyes, soft teal with laughter lines and it all clicked into place with a gasp.

“Sousuke?” He gasped.

“Don’t tell me you’d forgotten me.” He teased with a relieved sigh.

“Of course not.” He grinned, opening his arms before changing his mind. It had been three years, even if Makoto still felt the same for Sousuke the sentiment might not be returned.

“Come here you idiot.” Sousuke said, smiling ruefully at his shy friend.

He quickly closed the gap between them, tightly holding the other boy as if he couldn’t quite believe he was really there, really awake. After he’d watched the accident, after he’d held his friends unconscious body he’d been sure he’d never see Makoto again, and if he did it wouldn’t be the Makoto he remembered.

“It’s good to have you back.” Sousuke whispered, laughing as he saw the glint of tears in Makoto’s eyes.

“Thanks for not giving up on me.” He bit his lip, rubbing his eye.

“Sousuke, I didn’t expect to see you.” Makoto’s mum smiled as she walked back in the room, arms full with sweets and treats she shouldn’t have in hospital.

“You called me.” He frowned, taking the canned drink that wasn’t even intended for him.

“To let you know he’d woken up, not so you’d rush over from school.” She lightly scolded, Makoto noticing for the first time Sousuke was in his school uniform.

A uniform from a school Makoto had never attended, a school he was probably due to attend, nervously hide behind Sousuke on their first day but he hadn’t. Sousuke had carried out that milestone alone, all his classmates lives had carried on while he lay still in bed.

“Fine, you can stay. Just try not to overwhelm him.” Makoto’s mum said, pressing a kiss to her sons head.

“If you think I’m bad wait until the twins get here.” Sousuke teased. Makoto’s heart clenched at the idea of his younger siblings, barely school age when he’d last seen them, how they must have grown.

“Makoto.” A familiar voice called from the door, his father clutching his chest breathlessly from where he’d clearly ran to get here.

“Dad?” He whispered back croakily.

In all the time Makoto had been alive he’d never seen his father cry, not when his own Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, not when they’d attended his funeral, not even when the twins had been born. But now he saw tears of relief stream down his father’s usually composed features.

“You gave us quite a scare boy.” He joked, lightening the situation to draw focus away from his tears.

“Sorry.” He mumbled sheepishly. He’d never really been reckless but that morning with Sousuke he had been and while he had paid the price for it so had all the people he’d almost left behind.

“You always did have a flair for dramatics.” He teased.

“No I didn’t.” Makoto shouted out.

“Yes you did dear.” His mother nodded sympathetically. “Remember when the twins were born and you felt bad that we had so many children to look after you asked to move in with Sousuke.”

“I was only 7!” He defended himself.

“You asked my Dad for a job in his shop.” Sousuke helpfully reminded him.

“I was going to send money back home, I was trying to be helpful.” He pouted.

“You lasted one day because you kept giving food away to customers who looked kind.” Sousuke rolled his eyes.

“That sounds like my little baby.” His mother smiled proudly.

Makoto groaned as the three of them continued to tease him, falling back into the old routine as if nothing had changed, as if he’d never been gone.

But the whole time he couldn’t shake the feeling that he hadn’t just been lying in his bed, that everything in his mind was real and Haruka was out there somewhere, waiting for him.

…

Makoto sat on his bed, staring at his packed bag. He was just waiting on Sousuke to get him so he could finally leave the sterile room. He knew his mother’s feeble excuse was because she was planning a surprise for him when he got home, so that put poor Sousuke on duty, and he was already late.

Although he’d only been awake for a few days it felt like a lifetime since he’d been with Haruka, if he even was to begin with. Had it all really been a dream? A wonderful dream but make believe all the same. He knew he needed to forget it but he couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to it than just a simple illusion.

“You ready to go?” Sousuke asked, bursting into the room. He was over half an hour late and slightly out of breath, if Makoto was right he’d been running around the hospital, completely lost for all that time.

“Yeah.” He nodded, making no attempts to move.

Sousuke rolled his eyes and sat down beside him, even if it had been three years since they’d last really been together he could still read his best friend.

“Can I tell you something?” Makoto finally asked after a minute of silence.

“Sure.”

“While I was unconscious I dreamt, least I think it was a dream, I dreamt I was somewhere else.” He said.

“As a different person?” He asked.

“No I was still me, the accident had still happened as well. I was sort of in limbo, not really there in a sense. I was an angel and I was trying to earn my wings, I’d been assigned to a human to help. It all sounds a little silly now I say it out loud.” He laughed, felling embarrassed.

“It sounds like a rom com if you ask me.” Sousuke teased.

“The guy I was with… I loved him. And a strange, stupid part of me still does. How is that possible?” He groaned.

“I suppose it makes sense. You create the perfect guy in your head so you’re bound to fall for him a little bit.” He shrugged.

“But that’s just the thing he wasn’t the perfect guy. He was brooding and sullen and stubborn. In any other world I wouldn’t have bothered with him, but in that world it just made sense.” He sighed.

“I see.” Sousuke said, a little at a loss for words.

“And I know it was a dream but when we were together it didn’t feel like it, when he touched me I felt so real.” He said with a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

“Jesus, please don’t tell me while I was sitting by your bedside like a devoted wife you were having a wet dream.” He joked.

“Sousuke.” He whined. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I! Thank god you didn’t pop a boner.” He laughed at the blushing boy.

“I hate you sometimes.” He rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” He said, sobering up quickly. “These dreams, you said you were somewhere else. Do you know where?”

“No, it’s like that part has been erased from my mind. There were other people too but they’re all nameless.” He groaned.

“And the guy you were with?” He asked.

“Haru.” He whispered, even if he forgot everything else he never wanted to forget that name.

“Doesn’t ring any bells.” Sousuke shrugged.

“I know.” Makoto sighed. “I know I made it all up, it was just a dream but it just… What if it was real?”

“How can it be?” He asked softly.

Makoto laughed at himself, of course it wasn’t real. Sousuke was right, how could it possibly be? He was a fool to think otherwise.

“Forget I said anything.” He brushed it off.

“Look, maybe in time you will remember more. Names, places and such.” He suggested. “But until then you just have to wait, Haru isn’t exactly a lot to go on.”

“I suppose not.” He agreed with a smile.

…

“I guess nobody is in.” Makoto commented as he walked into his house. It was very obvious to him that his family were hidden away but he at least wanted to play along with their charade.

“Yes. It would seem so.” Sousuke said woodenly, still terrible at keeping secrets.

Makoto was about to tease his friend when his words got caught in his throat, it was strange how little had changed in the years and yet seem completely different. After living in Haruka’s home he never thought he’d see this place again.

The smell of washing that always seemed to linger, the dent in the kitchen door where Ren had run into with force during a game of chase, the marking on the skirting board where he and Sousuke had decided to carve their initials, the steps they’d subsequently sat on during their time out.

“You alright?” Sousuke asked, taking in his friends glazed over eyes.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “It’s just been a while.”

He heard twitching on the other side of the living room door and suddenly it was thrown open, the twins running through where they had obviously grown bored of waiting for Makoto.

“Surprise!” They shouted, throwing themselves into Makoto’s awaiting arms.

He couldn’t get over how much they had grown in his absence, how many firsts had he missed? Brotherly wisdom he could have shared. He shook his head and tightened their hug, there was no point in dwelling on what he couldn’t change. If this whole experience taught him anything it as to enjoy what you have because you could never be sure when it would be gone.

“Everybody is here!” Ran shouted.

“They all wanted to see you as soon as you came out of hospital.” Ren agreed.

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting.” Makoto smiled, walking into the living room with a twin on each arm.

“Surprise!” The cry was called again, but by a much larger number.

Makoto glanced around the room with a smile, family, neighbours, old school friends. All here to see him again, to celebrate that he was safe and well.

“Wow.” He smiled sheepishly. “Thank you all for coming.”

He barely had time to breath before the crowd descended on him, all squeezing, hugging, poking, desperate to get a touch. To share the joy that he was there, to show him even after three years he was still very much loved.

It was a little hectic and overwhelming, but for the first time since he woke up Makoto felt truly at home.

…

Something felt different when Haruka woke up that morning, the pain that he’d felt before had gone. He still missed Makoto terribly, he still wished he could see his face one more time but he felt content. As if the part of him that had been torn away when Makoto left was healed again.

It was as if Makoto was still alive, near but still too far. He knew it was a foolish notion, he was alone forever.

And yet, a small part of him had hope, that by some twist of fate Makoto was living, gone as his angel but having the life he deserved none the less. It seemed unfair if only Haruka got to continue his life, happy with the memories of what have been but with a future to look forward to.

Even though they were no longer together, even though he was alone again he felt hope. Hope that whatever had brought them together before would bring them together again. But most of all he hoped, wherever Makoto was, he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious question time, finish here or do a flash forward a few years?


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? I still exist and I still update, just not regularly enough I know! Apologies!!

**_One Year Later_ **

Haruka groaned as he looked at the clock, he hadn’t considered his longer journey time when he’d set his alarm. He barely given himself time for a soak and a good breakfast, he was rushed and he hated that feeling.

He turned to his side to complain and stopped himself short, feeling slightly embarrassed when he saw he was alone. He hadn’t done that in a while, once upon a time narrating his morning was second nature but now he was used to having nobody to listen.

How strange he thought with a shake of his head, drawing his focus back to his breakfast cooking. It had been almost a year since Makoto had been around so why did he suddenly go to talk to him?

Haruka glanced up with a soft smile, he hoped Makoto was happy up there and had got the wings he deserved. He wondered if Makoto was proud of him, could still see him to this day and be impressed with who he became even without Makoto.

Today was his first day of university, who would have thought he would have ever made it here? A few years ago this was nothing but a ridiculous notion, he was just counting down the days until he was normal. A normal man, working a normal nine to five job, with a normal and uneventful future ahead of him.

But now he was going somewhere, he would break into the world of professional swimming, he would prove himself to the world, to his parents, to Makoto.

A small part of him always held onto the hope that Makoto would come back, that life would find a way to bring the back together. Even if fate had torn them apart life always finds a way.

However, as the time dragged by he was beginning to realise how foolish that notion was, Makoto was never coming back.

“Be glad of what we had.” Haruka whispered to himself, a phrase he had become familiar with over the past few months. “Don’t dwell on what could have been.”

He was thankful that he even got to have Makoto, to love him in a special way only he knew how. As Rin would always say, _tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all._ Ever the romantic.

Rolling his eyes at Rin’s voice in his mind he grabbed his breakfast and headed towards the door, mentally reminding himself to change his alarm or else breakfast on the go would become a frequent thing.

…

Haruka took a deep sigh as he finally walked up the steps from the subway, it was worse down there than he had imagined. It was cramped and bustling, and he was pretty sure someone had used the crowd as an excuse to grab his arse. And even out here it wasn’t much better, the streets were lined with people, all making their way into the city. Car horns and pollution surrounded him.

But, thankfully, his university was on the outskirts of the city so he was going away from the crowds and soon he was able to breathe. He was free once again.

As he walked he was really regretting his decision not to live in the on-site halls of residence, he knew it was where the majority of students lived and where the party were most likely to be but they were still too close to the city for him to have relaxed.

There was a slightly smaller block further away and a little cheaper but he still wasn’t sure he wanted to live other students and their various smells and noises.

So, in the end he’d opted to live alone, far from the city. Sure, it would take him a while to get to university, but with three contact days a week it was hardly difficult. Luckily there was a small swimming complex near his apartment which he could use freely thanks to his university links.

He groaned when he heard his phone ringing in his pocket, ordinarily be would just ignore it but a _dear_ friend had personalised the sounds for himself and the rest of the swim team. The reasoning behind it was to ensure they never forget each other even with two members at university but it annoyed Haruka more than helped him.

And it would probably annoy Rin too if he’d known the blonde had lovingly assigned him the jaws theme.

“Yes?” Haruka finally answered, never one for phone calls.

“Morning Sunshine.” Rin greeted.

“Morning.” He grumbled.

“Let me guess from your tone, you’ve just escaped the underground.” He laughed.

“Maybe.” Harks curtly replied.

“I can’t believe you gave up Australia for Tokyo.” Rin sighed, the same scouts that had been interested in him had also seen promise in Haruka, if he’d have perused it he would have been training beside Rin.

“Yeah, well.” He shrugged, the gesture redundant as the conversation was taking place over the phone.

“I’m looking at the sea right now, what are you looking at?” He asked.

“Shut up.” He groaned, the tall, grey buildings only giving way to an even greyer sky.

He wasn’t sure why he’d been drawn to Tokyo, in theory it has nothing of appeal to him. And yet, he hadn’t been able to even consider anywhere else, as if he knew he were destined to be here. He never tried to explain it Rin because the other boy would never understand but Haruka knew fate had guided him here. He just wasn’t sure why.

“I have to say, I’m impressed.” Rin said, bringing Haruka out of his own mind.

“And whys that?” He asked, slightly relieved when he saw that familiar buildings of university – least he hadn’t got lost on his first day.

“Because you actually managed to drag your arse out the bath.” He laughed.

“So that’s the real reason you called me?” He rolled his eyes, obviously being in Australia didn’t stop Rin’s ‘mum duties’.

“Partly, and to rub in the fact I’m on a sandy beach with the sun shining while you’re probably dodging rain.” He said, Haruka practically hearing his smirk through the phone.

“Not quite.” He defended but he knew the clouds would open up soon. “I have to go.”

“Need to find shelter before the rain starts?” Rin teased.

“No.” He groaned. “Got an induction lecture.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He snorted. “Speak soon.”

Haruka hummed in response before hanging up, Rin was used to his abrupt goodbyes by now.

Slipping his phone back in his bag, he walked inside his university, the building where he would spend the next three years of his life. Growing and learning.

And as he walked in he was reminded of the sheer amount of people would be spending the next three years here too. They were all stood in what appeared to be a line, a couple making awkward small talk with the people around them in a desperate attempt to make friends. Haruka sighed and joined the end of the line, rolling his eyes as they slowly made their way up to the front desk.

Eventually he arrived at the desk, sitting opposite one of the shiny, smiley greeters. Explaining the university, giving him his timetable and snapping his photo to place on his student card.

The majority of what they said had brushed off his back, barely bothering to pay attention. All he knew was he was expected in lecture hall b in twenty minutes for an induction with the rest of the sport and exercise department.

He decided to head in early, least then he could get a decent seat at the side where nobody would catch him not listening. Plus, the clouds had finally given up their battle at it was raining in earnest now so he could hardly leave the building.

Haruka was surprised by the size of the room, but he supposed they were planning to fit a whole department in they had to be pretty big. Ignoring people giving him friendly smiles, he walked to the first empty row he could find and all the way down the aisle until he was in the corner, not really planning to involve himself in this lecture anyway.

…

Makoto smiled to himself as he saw the familiar buildings of his university coming into view, sure it was his first day but he’d been on plenty of visits so felt he was quite familiar with the campus. There had been on-site accommodation but in order to save a little money he had opted for the building slightly further away. It did mean sharing communal areas with others but from their brief interactions they all seemed nice.

He glanced down at his watch with a smile, still twenty minutes until he was due for his first lecture and he’ll manage to avoid the rain. His morning was off to an incredible start.

He hated to feel smug but he was proud of himself, not just for his time keeping but for being able to attend university at all.

When he’d first woken up from his coma university seemed like nothing but a dream, something he’d have to do as a mature student at best. But between school, studying and extra tutoring he had somehow pulled off a miracle.

Part of him often wondered if it was Haruka who had helped him, whenever he was studying or in lessons he would have a vague memory, as if he had learnt it somewhere before. But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Makoto had been in a coma, not some parallel universe where he attended school.

He knew it was sheer determination that got him here, and a lot of help from Sousuke who turned out to be a more than willing tutor. Sousuke had decided to forgo university for a year, instead opting to take a gap year to travel and find himself. Makoto would often laugh at how pretentious it sounded but he knew his friend was at a loss, not knowing what do with his life. He’d helped Makoto through some tough times this year, he was lucky that his friend had been by his side despite such a long absence. And it had been as if nothing changed between them, effortlessly picking up where they left off.

The only obstacle they had had to overcome was Sousuke’s guilt, he seemed to blame himself for what had happened to Makoto. Despite the fact it had been the boys own fault for not looking before he leapt but Sousuke didn’t see it that way. He had become quite protective of Makoto since the accident – which was probably why he’d texted him four times this morning.

This record was only topped by his mother who had text an impressive twenty times. She had been very reluctant to allow him to go to university, convinced he needed a year off after the trauma but that was exactly why Makoto couldn’t wait. He’d had a brush with death and come too close, he never wanted to waste another second. And that meant living life to the full, going to university, getting a degree and getting the career he wanted.

And he was off to a fantastic start, early for his first lecture!

Until he heard a noise, so soft that if there’d been any traffic he would have probably miss it but there was nothing passing so it felt like it echoed around him. He looked down and saw a small black and white kitten, clearly well-loved if his glossy coat and full stomach was anything to go by.

But like any cat it wanted more attention, it rolled around on the pavement in front of Makoto in a blatant display. Mewling as it curled and begging for a stroke.

A stronger man would have just walked away, but Makoto would never be that man. Instead he dropped down onto his knees besides the kitten and lavished it with attention.

He cooed and squeaked as the small kitten rubbed his hands, covering him in his scent while purring loudly. Makoto smiled as the kitten stood up and rubbed against his legs, intent on claiming his new human friend.

Makoto gave the kitten one last stroke behind the ear before standing up again and walking towards university again. But the kitten had other ideas, chasing after Makoto and intercepting his path with a small cry.

Unable to resist, he petted the kitten again, letting it roll and purr before he gave up and walked further. The kitten doing the same thing again and blocking Makoto’s path, resulting in more pets.

This dance continued for the rest of Makoto’s journey down the street.

…

Makoto ran across the university campus, that damn seductive kitten had made him late. And after such a good start he was disappointed. He’d only realised how long he’d been petting the kitten when it started to rain and the kitten ran inside.

So not only was he late, he was soaked through to the point that he left a little puddle in the entrance when he finally got to his building.

The admissions team seemed shocked to see him, having dealt with the last of the students over ten minutes ago.

“Hi.” Makoto waved awkwardly, walking towards the desk.

“Hello. What course are you on?” The lady behind the desk, frowning at his current state.

“Physical Education with QTS.” He smiled.

“Right, we don’t have time to take your photo but come back after your induction lecture. Sport and exercise is in lecture hall b, but do hurry you’ve got less than a minute before it starts.” She sneered, obviously being late was low on her approval rating. But she would be late too if she’d met the same gorgeous kitten.

“Thanks!” Makoto shouted, running towards the hall, luckily it was the closest one to him.

He burst through the door to see the professor at the front holding his hands up to get everyone’s attention. Makoto muttered an apology as he walked past but the professor just smiled at him, obviously he was more forgiving on the first day.

He cringed as he scanned the hall, there didn’t seem to be any spaces left. Would he have to awkwardly stand for the hour?

Oh phew, he inwardly sighed, there was a space next to…

But that couldn’t be possible, he wasn’t real. It wasn’t him. It was just someone who looked like him. It had to be.

Despite his reassuring thoughts, Makoto found himself frozen, getting strange looks from the other students who had noticed his arrival. Luckily the man in question hadn’t looked up from his phone.

Maybe his mum was right, maybe he wasn’t emotionally ready for university yet. He was having visions after all. He decided to just leave, without alerting anyone of his presence. But fate seemed to have other ideas.

As he left he got his foot caught to a wire, tumbling to the ground as he snagged the wire and snatching the microphone out of the awaiting professors hand. It fell to the ground with a squeak and thump, the whole lecture hall staring at the boy on the floor who had caused such a commotion.

So much for going unnoticed.

…

Haruka nodded along to whatever the girls in front of him were saying, as soon as they’d sat down they’d spun around and engaged him in conversation. Apparently, they’d met last night in a club and discovered they were soul sisters, Haruka was sure they were still a little bit drunk.

He barely paid attention to what they were tittering on about until his phone chimed, he was glad of the excuse if he was being honest.

He opened the text to see a selfie from Rin, standing in the sea with a bright smile as the sun shone behind him. He had to admit he was a little jealous right now as he listened to the rain beating down on the roof, so heavy it was louder than the chatter of students.

_Don’t forget protection._ Haruka replied immaturely, knowing a small snide remark would barely be a dampener on his friend’s mood.

_Got it covered._ Rin replied and attached a photo of a dark-haired man, his teal eyes confused. Probably because he was requested to take a photo with a bottle of sun cream.

Haruka sent the exact same reply, the words having a different meaning now he had seen Rin’s companion.

He was just about to read Rin’s reply, no doubt the boy was blushing as he wrote it when he heard a noise, loud and piercing causing him to wince.

He glanced to the front of the hall and his heart stuttered, it couldn’t be. He was dead. He had earnt his wings, he was gone from his life. He belonged to Kisumi now.

“Makoto.” Haruka gasped.

…

“No, no, no, no, no.” Kisumi whined as he watched two figures floating across his map, two figures he had tried to keep apart.

But he had failed, somehow Makoto and Haruka had found each other again and this time there was no obstacles between them.

“Shit!” Kisumi screamed, conjuring up a pitcher of water just to throw it across the room – always one to do things with a dramatic flair.

He’d had one job, send Makoto to Haruka, give Makoto his wings and they’d all live happily ever after like some sort of fairy-tale.

But now there was an encore he was not expecting, the two souls finding each other again in such a vast world.

How had he not seen this coming? He was the God of Future for Christ sake!

But he knew why, because he had altered the time line and changed what should have been therefore everything was off, nobody could predict or change an altered world. He’d taken a risk sending Makoto back, a risk he shouldn’t have had to have made because he should have pulled him back before he lost half his heart.

However, at the time it had seemed like a worthwhile risk. Haruka still got the future he was destined for and Makoto got a second chance.

Now, watching the two figures pulse as they were reunited he knew it had been a mistake.

They weren’t supposed to meet, it will only throw everything off balance. Haruka’s future does not include Makoto because as far as the universe knew Makoto was dead.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short! Please don’t hate me.

Haruka stared at Makoto, still laid out on the floor and his arm covering his face – as if he believed the ground could really swallow him up. He was about to jump up and help the man when a gaggle of girls on the front row took that job from him. All cooing and crowding him as if he were a lost puppy. Which he did look a little like with his wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

He knew he was staring but luckily he wasn’t the only one, the whole room and even the professor seemed entranced by him. Maybe it was pity and humour that the rest of the room watched but for Haruka it was something else. A mixture of excitement and hope stirred inside him.

He willed himself to calm down, he was quite far back. He could be anyone. Tall, broad and brunette were hardly the most unique of qualities but he was still so sure. His aura was the same, he brightened the room without even trying. Just like his old Makoto.

He spent too long watching the back of his head, completely oblivious to what was being said around him. All that mattered, all that had ever mattered was Makoto, and if he was back he was determined not to lose him again.

As if he could feel the power of Haruka’s eyes on him, Makoto turned around and Haruka felt his heart stutter. When their gazes met it only confirmed one thing, it was definitely Makoto.

Haruka blushed and looked away, unable to really believe he was in the same room, after all this time Makoto was back. So many questions were floating around his head after this discovery.

Had he earnt his wings? Was he back for another good deed? How had he managed to escape Kisumi’s clutches? But most importantly, why hadn’t he come back for Haruka?

…

Makoto was practically shaking as he took his seat, smiling politely at the girls who had helped him despite their words washing over him. Only one thing mattered to him at the moment and that was Haruka. His name was buzzing around his head like an angry wasp.

He had to check it was him, he had to be sure he hadn’t just imagined the whole situation. Makoto glanced up to where Haruka had been sat, he gasped when he saw him looking back. But then did that really mean anything? The whole lecture hall was probably watching him. With a blush and sigh he turned back to the front, pretending to listen to whatever the lecturer was sharing.

There had to be a rational explanation for this, there had to be a reason that wasn’t Makoto was supposed to be a guardian angel and really was given a second chance. That didn’t happen in real life, everything involving Haruka had to be a dream. It just didn’t make sense, gods and wings. It was all too surreal otherwise.

He’d read somewhere that your subconscious couldn’t create a face out of nothing, it had to have seen it before even if it was just passing by them on the street. So, it stands to reason that there was a person out there who looked identical to his Haruka.

That serendipity of meeting again after a passing on a train made more sense than his dreams being real.

As the lecture progressed Makoto chanced another glance back, surprised to see those blue eyes still watching him, just as intently as before.

Surely, he wasn’t still obsessing over his fall, there was another reason for his staring. It had to be his Haruka.

He looked back again and offered a small smile. Haruka awkwardly looked down at the gesture, pretending to busy himself with what was around. It may be his Haruka but he clearly didn’t care that Makoto had just walked back into his life. He supposed he had been gone a while, it was only normal for him to move on. To stop caring.

After that blatant ignoring, Makoto’s stomach dropped. He might have recognised him but maybe Haruka didn’t care that he was back at all.

…

As Makoto left the hall he realised he didn’t remember a single thing from the induction lecture. The words had washed over him as all he could think about was Haruka.

He watched as the students filtered out, all desperate to leave after a long hour, nobody spared him a glance as he stood beside the entrance. Least his faux pas from early had been forgotten, he didn’t want his university life to be a constant call back to the time he’d fallen in front of a lecture hall of students.

He gasped when he saw Haruka come out, closer now there was no mistaking him. He would recognise those bright blue eyes anywhere.

“Haru.” He whispered so softly he was sure but the other boy had heard. Despite the crowds around them he had still heard him.

“Makoto?” Haruka asked, unsure if he really believed the man in front of him.

“Hi.” He waved slightly

Haruka knew they were in public, he knew people would see but he barely had time to breath before he was throwing himself across the short distance between them. He grabbed Makoto, held him tightly as he felt his warm, solid body underneath his finger tips for the first time.

“You’re really here.” Haruka gasped. He pulled back slightly and touched his face, anything to prove this moment was actually happening.

Makoto laughed slightly and returned the gesture, sure he had touched Haruka thousands of times before but it felt different now. It felt real.

He was sure they had gathered a little bit of an audience by now, two boys laughing while gripping each other’s faces was hardly a normal sight but neither could find it in themselves to care.

“How long?” Haruka croaked.

“How long what?” Makoto frowned, already missing the touch of Haruka’s hands as he curled in on himself and stepped back.

“How long have you been human?” He whispered, no longer wanting to look him in the eye and hear the truth.

“Just over a year.” He admitted, biting his lip at the silence that followed his response.

Haruka frowned, one year. Almost the exact amount of time since they’d last been together. As if the moment he had left Haruka’s side Makoto was back on earth. Living his life.

He’d probably had his own life now that he was free of Haruka. Sure, they had been inseparable once upon a time but everything had changed now. Makoto was probably never expecting to see him again and definitely not expecting Haruka to throw himself at him. Makoto was too kind to brush him off, he’d humour him but maybe he was no longer interested in him.

“Why…” Haruka swallowed, did he really want to know the answer? “Why didn’t you come back for me?”

“I didn’t realise you were real.” He whispered, the relief that flooded him when he saw Haruka again in that lecture hall was beyond anything he could explain. As if all those nights missing an imaginary person finally made sense, finally felt as if they had been worthwhile.

“What do you mean?” Haruka frowned.

“I woke up and everyone told me I had been in a coma for three years. It seemed more believable than what happened with us. I just assumed it was all a dream so never tried to look for you. I’m sorry.” Makoto apologised, if even a small part of him had known that Haruka was in his world he wouldn’t have hesitated, he would have run to his side straight away.

“How did it happen?” He asked. “I thought you belonged to Kisumi.”

“I did.” He laughed. “But because of you I came back.”

“Why?”

“Because I fell in love with you.” Makoto blushed. “And when I did you took half my heart with you, so for as long as you’re alive Kisumi will only have half my heart.”

Haruka blinked at the words, his love was the reason Makoto was alive. Without even meaning to he’d given him a second chance, an opportunity to live again. It was too much but felt perfect at the same time. As if destiny had given their two souls a second chance at love.

Makoto mistook his silence as awkwardness and desperately tried to remedy the situation. Just because he was in love didn’t mean Haruka felt the same, it had been a year after all.

“But don’t worry, he won’t strike you down or anything.” He joked.

“Good.” Haruka laughed softly.

They fell into silence again, just watching. Waiting for the moment they both woke up, it was all too perfect. It just had to be a dream.

With nothing else to say, Makoto said the first thing that came into his mind.

“Want to go and get a coffee?”

…

It was silent, too silent. The usually loud and excitable god was not uttering a word, he was barely moving. The only sound that could be heard were impatient fingers taping against the arm of his chair.

Kisumi rested his head on his other hand as he glared ahead. He was angry, no that was not strong enough. He was livid. Both with himself and at the humans.

He’d taken a risk, he knew that. He thought it had been a calculated risk but he had been wrong.

He should have just killed Haruka when he had the chance and taken Makoto’s heart, screw love. But now he’d didn’t own any of that stupid heart, half was back in Makoto’s body and the other half belonged to Haruka. Leaving Kisumi with a big fat nothing, and no excuse to kill off the human.

But what those pathetic humans didn’t realise was just how much their lives mattered, how much they had everything planned out for them. Sure, they all believed they were in control but in truth it was all calculated by the gods, plotting every second to give them the most out of life.

Selfless really, Kisumi always thought.

But Makoto, now he was an anomaly. His life had been planned to a point, and sure it had been a short life but that was the path that was chosen for him and nothing should have changed that.

Then Kisumi had to get involved, intersect his soul as it made its way to the afterlife. If he had just let him go he wouldn’t have found himself in this mess. If he hadn’t been so entranced by the green eyes and the man he was going to grow into he would have just let the child go on its way.

So once the god had adopted the lost soul he became independent, in that rare limbo between life and death where the soul is completely in control for once. And nothing Kisumi did would make any difference, sure he could influence Haruka but Makoto was stronger.

And he’d been run purely by his desire, his need for Haruka that he hadn’t thought of what he would affect. Then again, why should he? Humans didn’t realise there was such a powerful system working for them.

And now, that anomaly had worked its way back into Haruka’s life. No matter how hard the god’s tried to steer Haruka down the route he should follow Makoto would always be tempting him, influencing him. A completely free soul taking charge.

“Why do they keep doing this to me?” Kisumi groaned, running fingers through his soft, pink locks.

He just had to hope and prey they didn’t change their own paths too much, that they still followed their own destiny or else there would be trouble. Not just for the humans, but for the god himself.

But he knew they would not follow the path as they should, because destiny had not planned for them to be together and now they had found each other again Kisumi doubted he’d be able to separate them.

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought I’d try writing a new Makoharu story, after everyone responded so well to He Is The Air I thought I should see what else I can come up with. Hope you like it :)


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